Where Is Heaven

Chapter One - Reunited

"What the hell, he is doing what?" Dean Winchester's voice raised and almost cracked as he laid on the gas pedal of his gleaming impala. 

"Bobby called and left us a voicemail saying that Cas has waltzed into his house and demands to see us. He has been sitting on the couch for the past two days, and doesnt show signs of letting up. I think we need to go and see him." Sam dropped his drained phone and watched his brother carefully. Last time they spoke, Dean had thrown a fit because Cas refused to go on a hunt with them.

Sam hadnt blamed him. If he had a fresh start, and was rid of his angel family, he would sure as hell run to the chance of a healthy normal life. But Dean had taken it personally. He was furious that Cas could walk away that easily from all that they had built. Lucifer was hanging over their heads, annoying as ever Sam thought bitterly to himself, and heaven was on the brink of explosion. But Cas had walked away.

"God dammit that little son of a bitch. Probably whined because we werent there to bail him out of some stupid shit he got himself into becuase he still knows jack shit about the way of our world." Dean sounded angry but as his voice continued it became worrisome. They both knew Cas meant more to Dean than some other human being walking down the street.

"Calm down. Maybe he just misses us." In his mind Sam had said 'maybe he just misses you', but he thought better of saying it out loud.

"It pisses me off, we are out here hunting a werewolf, and he sweeps in out of the blue to disrupt that and cause us to go hours out of our way. I swear, if it is something ridiculously stupid i will ring his neck." His grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles were a clean color of white. 

"No one said we had to go there this moment." Sam whispered and watched the lines fade lightly from Dean's face.

Dean started to lighten as he gave in to the fact that they were going to be seeing Cas in a few short hours. In truth, he had missed the angel. Every few nights he would find himself calling out his name to the lit universe, hoping and praying he was safe. Only when he remembered that his prayer to Cas went unheard, did he feel the strain of lonliness pull on his chest. "We better go now. Bobby is probably losing his mind." 

PART 2

"I WANT DEAN!" Cas screamed from the comfortable recliner in front of Bobby's small but overly used television set. 

"DEAN IS ON HIS WAY!" Bobby mimicked Cas' stubborn coated screams and rolled his eyes with a puff of air. It had been two days too long putting up with Cas' demands of Dean. Bobby was starting to consider murder, but considered his plans on heaven after death and decided to just put up with it.

Cas' eyes were blood shot and the bags under them were doing him no favors. His hear hadnt been combed for days and looked like clobby messes of washed up seaweed. But Cas didnt care what he looked like, he didnt care about the bags, his hair, his five oclock shadow, none of it seemed to seep into his mind. He needed his friends. He needed Dean. The only man on this planet who he truly cared for and the only man strong enough to stop the apocalypse.

"Are you hungry?" Bobby sized Cas up, and though he was being a brat now, he still loved the ex-angel.

Cas' blue eyes found their way to Bobby's and he nodded sheepishly. "Nothing out of your way. But i would love something. Thank you for asking."

A grin formed on Bobby's lips. Turning on the heel of his shoe, he started for the kitchen with a pleasant tune from the radio stuck on the tip of his tongue. Bobby Singer would cook something for his boys as well, God knew they were running on fumes these days.

Cas sat back on the recliner and closed his burning eyes for a minute, just for the simple rest. His whole body was aching and his mind was spliting from what he had heard from his old brother. When he ran from the Winchesters, he thought he was doing them good. Without his Grace, Castiel was as useless as any other victim of the supernatural. He feared more than anything that he would just get in the way. A clean break is what he thought he needed. But the lonely nights and the silent car rides were too much for him to handle, expecially now.

Part 3

Dean walked ahead of Sam up the creaking porch of Bobby's house. His knees were a bit shaky and he couldnt admit to the fluttering butterflies in his stomach. He had never missed someone as much as he did Cas these past few months (aside from his dead family). But it all felt okay that they were here and so was he. It felt right, and time for their friendships to all regain a steady heartbeat.

"Dean?" Cas' voice was small and almost unnoticable. 

Dean stopped dead in his tracks at the tops of the porch steps and stared at his long lost savior through the murky screen door. The light from the kitchen had an alluminating effect on Cas that made Dean's throat ball up. His palms began to itch and a burn ran down his torso. A faint smile was the only trace of the happiness that erupted inside Dean.

"Cas."

"I'm so glad you came. I am sorry for doing it like this... but you wouldnt return my phone calls." His blue eyes shakily darted to the ground as he uneasily shifted his weight from one foor to the other.

"All eleven million of them." Dean muttered still feeling unable to move or look away from Cas' strained face in this light.

A small smirk bounced onto Cas' face that created a soft awkward giggle in the back of his throat. "I know that I did wrong, i know that I had failed in my effort to leave and not return. I dont want you mad at me anymore. i cant stand the distance between us. I want to be near you again. I want to help."

"Now you want to help? Why? Why even come back after what you did?" Dean's voice rose but he fought to keep his temper under control. 

"I left because-"

"You didnt just leave, Cas, you abandoned us!" Dean's voice broke as he clamped his fists together and felt the heat reminating off of his body. "You packed up your bags and left us when you had a better offer. Discarded us like we were trash!"

"No!" Cas pleaded in a strained voice. "I never thought of you as trash. I didnt mean to abandon you, but i was in the way-"

"Don't. I told you that you werent. i told you I would protect you."

"How can you protect me when you cant protect yourself?" Defeat and sorrow poured from Cas' lips as a tear raced somberly down his cheek. His broken declaration was cracked and interupted by breathing to calm him down. "How can you, Dean? How can you save everyone? I have learned from my time down here that people have to die. Even the ones who arent ready. And i cant die wihtout knowing love. It is the one emotion I thrive to understand. Please, Dean, forgive me. Let me back in."

Dean paused. For once in the argument he didnt know what to say. Even having this conversation played out in his head since the day Cas left. But now, it all seemed like hollow lines. Looking into Cas' eyes, Dean felt the weight of the world dissolve. In those pure baby blue eyes, he saw redemption. No matter of pushing away could deny what he felt the moment he stood here facing his fallen angel. And with no more than one word, their fates were sealed.

"Okay."