Where Is Heaven

Chapter Ten - Sam and Samkiel

"Dean went with Cas last night. They did some 'recon' or whatever." Samkiel rolled her eyes as she sat opposite of Sam at Bobby's kitchen table.

Sam shook his head and took a bite of his breakfast burrito. "What is up with those two?"

Samkiel knew the impact of telling Sam about her brother and his. So she shrugged and set her chin in her hands and watched Sam carefully. "They are trying to keep you safe. I know Cas is trying to track Azazel down. Maybe today we should do some recon of our own. Dean was out all night, he'll be asleep down there for a while." She grinned, knowing how exhausted he is.

"Recon. Sure." Sam was still having difficulty trusting an angel. He didn't trust them after everything Cas, Gabriel, and Zachariah has put them through.

"I understand." Samkiel winked at Sam. "Actually, I have a present for you. A way to keep me out of your mind."

Sam grinned and raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

She nodded excited and a gleam filled her purple eyes. "Let's keep it a surprise. Finish your breakfast. Big day ahead. Storms are brewing on the horizon." She sat back and let out a grinned sigh.

Sam was almost awestruck by the energy and jubilance Samkiel was letting flow from her.

"I love being alive." She whispered and closed her eyes. "Human feelings... The wind. That burrito smells amazing. I have finally found out the conclusion to Tony Soprano's story. And the sun actually touches my cheeks. How can a day go by that you don't love all this? It's almost too much."

Sam let his burrito drop in his plate as he watched her face lay in complete happiness. It had been ages since he saw someone glow like she was. In that moment he realized she was just like Castiel, more than an angel.

"No..." The sorrow behind her voice surprised him. She kept her eyes closed but he saw her eyebrows furrow together. "I am just an angel. Nothing more. When this is all over I will return to my empty life up there. Castiel... He was granted to stay because of the love that broke through his angel shell. I..." Her eyes opened and looked out the window to their left. "Y'know, this is heaven. When you can feel, and hold, and grab into things that make you erupt with things that are so strong it doesn't seem humanly possible. Sam... You are the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet."

Sam snorted which caused Samkiel's red eyes glare to snatch hold of him and turn his blood cold in fear of her.

"Don't you dare laugh it off. You have all this right in your lap. A brother who went to hell for you, a man who through all the shit adopted you as a son, and an angel who turned his back on his family to keep you safe. You know how bad it is, you aren't ignorant and I would think that would make you appreciate this life even more. Get your head out of your ass and realize that you have it all. You have everything I will never be able to have." When she realized how loud her voice was, and how much Sam had shrunk away from her, she let out a deep breath and allowed her eyes to drain of the red.

"Samkiel-" his voice was small and sympathetic.

"Don't." She stood from the table and turned her back on him. The jealousy raged inside her. She composed herself in an effort to keep her dignity. "When you finish your burrito, I will be outside on the porch. We will head out then." And she walked away, leaving Sam sitting there confused and shocked at this outburst from an angel of destruction that he clearly underestimated.

Part 2

Sam found her laying on her back across the porch swing. He didn't say a thing but he sat down on a rocking chair beside her. Her eyes were closed and a warm smile broke across her face. He looked her over and felt his cheeks warm. She was heavenly in this light afternoon sun. A blank green tee shirt snugly wrapped around her torso followed by a tight pair of jean cutoffs that accentuated her muscular thighs. He cleared his throat and looked out at the blue skies peeking out around the porch roof.