Where Is Heaven

Chapter Six - Visit from the Devil

After Dean had given Cas a goodnight kiss, and his arm was bandaged, Cas had left Bobby's and started for a hotel. At this point, if he was even in the same neighborhood as Dean he wouldn't be able to help himself. This is what true strength was for Cas. Not jumping into bed with Dean Winchester the millisecond he was invited to.

He waited outside a cheap motel with a handful of some cash. He couldn't afford to stay out every night, but right now he couldn't face Dean's welcoming bed.

"Did you and lover boy have a quarrel?" A rough smirking voice asked from directly behind Cas.

Cas turned on his heel and glared viciously at Lucufer. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You know my plans, poor Gabriel was a bad little angel for spilling the beans he overheard. I will take care of him later. For now, I am wondering what I can do with you. You are Dean's protector." Lucifer held his hands behind his back and swayed like an anxious child. His grin was enough to scare anyone in their right mind.

"Fuck you." Cas spat with disgust.

Lucifer's eye widened and he grinned. "Woah there, since when were you such a swearer. Especially now that you have your Grace."

Cas stood motionless.

"That's right darling, we all know God allowed you back into the order. So my question is, why are you still alongside those rotten scoundrels?" Lucifer stepped closer to Cas.

"I am not with them. I am doing what God instructed." Cas kept his eyes narrow and his voice straight. "He told me to watch them, but from a distance. I am not to interfere."

"Aw, poor baby. What will you do without your babbling idiots?" Lucifer mocked kindness and remorse.

"What do you want, lucifer?" Cas was tired and he was done with his brother's bullshit.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. "I want to kill Dean. That's all I want. Can you help me?"

Cas' blood began to boil. It came to him that maybe Lucifer wanted a rise out of him. So he kept his face straight but shook his head.

"Dean's death is not God's plan." Cas clenched his fists and tried to keep his heart beat down. He wanted nothing more than to end Lucifer right here and now.

"It is my plan. And where is our Father now?"

"He is still alive. And when He returns, you will be the first to die. And I am not talking about another eternity in hell. I am saying that you will no longer be anything but a distant nightmare." Cas growled and felt a new kind of hatred he had never felt before.

Lucifer chuckled and waved his hand toward Cas. "You are so very adorable, Castiel. And I will save a spot for you in paradise. I think you shall enjoy it." Then with a passing of a second, he was gone from in front of Cas.

Part 2

"He said that?" Sam watched Cas' eyes carefully and tried to keep any fear from his voice.

Cas nodded, still unable to make eye contact with either of them. He had waited till the morning after his talk with Lucifer to tell the Winchesters. He had to think of what to say. And wait in case Lucifer would have followed.

"He wanted me to help kill Dean. He is serious about this, I am not sure how far he is willing to go." Cas' voice dropped to a mumbled whisper. His heart was breaking with the thoughts of plans to kill Dean.

A numbing silence fell among the three.

"The bunker-" Sam started.

"I can't be locked up in there while this war happens." Dean snapped. The weight of this situation was wearing him down quickly. Frustration was gnawing at all sides of his mind. "I refuse to be stuffed away."

"Are we just going to let him have an open shot at you?!" Sam's voice raised to anger. "I will not lose you. Not again."

"I am telling you now, no bunker. I will stand and fight. I am not a pussy."

"God damn it, Dean, climb down from your high horse and realize you can't fight all of this." Sam watched his older brother and feared his ego would be the end of him.

"Dean, please, stay in the bunker into a plan is brought up." Cas' voice snuck into the argument but it was profound enough to make both Sam and Dean turn to look at him.

Dean paused and realized how this was effecting Cas as well. He wasn't living for himself anymore. Cas was holding on for his life as well. "Okay." Dean whispered defeated. "Until we have a plan."

Cas smiled dimly and stood. "I should get going. I don't want to be here too much and alert Lucifer to how close I really am." He gave Dean a longing look before he flew off.

"What the hell." Sam sat back in the chair and just stared at his brother. "You would stay in the bunker when he asks, but not for me?"

Dean closed his eyes and breathed out of his nostrils. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Sam and his nagging. He needed Cas. He stood and turned his back to Sam. "I need to use the restroom."

"Fine. Walk away. What do I care. I only love you." Sam muttered distraught as Dean walked out of the living room and up the stairs.

Part 3

"Cas, baby, come to me. I need you. Please... Fly to me." Dean pleaded in the upstairs bathroom of Bobby's house.

After a couple minutes he prayed more and almost felt sobs clench his chest at the realization that Cas wasn't going to come for him.

"Dean, I'm here." Cas whispered with a knot in his chest. It broke him to see his hunter like this.

Dean twisted around and fell on Cas for a hug. He pressed his face into Cas' neck and breathed him in. His strong arms almost broke Cas' torso, but he didn't let up.

"I can't stay long. It would endanger you." Cas whispered feeling his heart break with very word. " I will watch from a distance, and every prayer from you I will hear."

This information about Lucifer had Dean shook even though he tried to hide it. Cas felt his body shaking under his arms.

"Stay. I don't care if they find us." Dean's voice cracked. All he yearned for was Cas. He couldn't stand the thought of what he will do when Cas flew away.

"You know I can't. I want to more than anything, but I just can't." Cas felt a sob choke his own throat. He clenched an took a deep breath. He had to be strong for Dean.

"I don't care anymore." Dean nuzzled his nose deeper into Cas' throat. "I want you."

Cas took a deep breath and ran his finger along Dean's spine. "I love you, Dean. With all of what I have and am, I love you. Hold onto that. It's all I can give you without destroying you."

Dean was silent for a while so Cas just held him. He rested his chin on Dean's shoulder and held him as tightly as he could without hurting him.

"I love you, Cas." He finally spoke, his voice choppy.

Cas squeezed him a bit. "I will be around soon." He pulled Dean's head up and kissed his lips softly.

Dean groaned and melted against his angel. He never wanted to part. But soon his lips were cold and his arms empty. Dean opened his eyes to an empty bathroom. The cruelest thing Cas ever did to him, and he understood why. He knew he had to wait for him. He just didn't want to. The coldness of the room made him shiver as his arms fell to his sides and loneliness grabbed hold of his mind. He wanted his Cas back in his arms.