Guilt | G.D.

1. Reminders Everywhere

Song- Wait by M83 (sets the mood, recommend you play)

flashback/ in the past

present/ current day

"Shut up it was fun you idiot" Maddie laughs as she shoves my arm making me stumble. I can't help but laugh remembering how embarrassing last night was.

"Yeah, cause throwing up on Ryan's shoes is my favorite form of fun" I remark, reminding her of my unfortunate chain of events from the night before. "And being hungover at the game this morning was oh so fun!" I shove her in the same way to let her know that the massive head ache was way too noticeable at our soccer game against East Liberty this morning, good thing they weren't good or she could have cost the team their winning streak "you shouldn't have mixed alcohols you dumbass" I chuckle as Maddie regains her balance.

"Hey!" our attention is shifted as Liam approaches us taking off his helmet with his group of minions behind him "what are the champions up to" he smiles, looking back to his friends for approval on his choice of words to Maddie and I.

"Just getting our participation points for PE" I reply with a friendly smile, considering Liam was throwing a party tonight and me and Maddie wanted to go.

There were parties almost every night here, all the students at First Cape had rich parents that were never home, including me and Maddie who at this point basically lived together, you just had to be cool enough to get into them. But Maddie and I never had an issue. We are known as the Dynamic Duo. We are both skilled at soccer and have awesome GPAs while also maintaining a pretty cool social status. We are known to liven up any party we attend, while also keeping it under control. We are always super cheerful together, where one goes, so does the other. And my favorite quality, is that we never argue, we are very unproblematic and know each other like the back of our hands, we know what not to say and what not to do to avoid making the other mad. Over all we have a very healthy friendship and nothing could ever tear that apart.

"Yeah cause walking around the track is crucial for your fitness" Maddie adds to back up my previous statement.

"You got my text, right?" Liam questions, referring to his virtual invitation.

"Yeah well be there!" Maddie smiles, even though I got the text.

"perfect!" Liam smiles "no need to bring any drinks, my mom's card has that covered."

we both laugh and turn away, continuing to walk and talk the class period away.

I stare down upon the empty field where all the football players use to toss the ball, trying to impress us, and where we use to to dominate all the stupid games the gym teachers had us play blankly, not feeling any emotion. If anything, it just reminded me of how empty I am. Which is predictable since I'm missing half of myself.

"I don't really feel like going, plus, they need at least one of us out on the field tomorrow, we're playing a team from the North side." I sigh as I watch Maddie try on her seventh outfit of the night.

"Come on Kiersten I can't go without you, I don't know how to act without you." Maddie places the Hair curler back onto the dresser and playfully jumps on top of me as I scroll through Instagram on my phone.

"Grayson will be there Maddie, you'll be all over him the whole time whether I'm there or not." I laugh, pinching her side to make her get off of me. Grayson and Maddie have kind of been a thing on and off for about two weeks, but I haven't met him yet. He seems great though, he plays football, and he's really good, apparently he's going to be the captain next year. Maddie really likes him and gets all giddy and shit when she talks about him, which is weird considering I've never seen her like that before. She also has this weird fantasy that I'll date his twin brother and we'll double date all the time, but I don't see it happening considering I don't even know the guy and he's always so shy whenever I make an effort to try.

"You're not going to budge, are you?" Maddie Stands up placing her hands on her hips.

"Nope, plus its one party, we'll have a million more we can go to together in high school, let alone in college." I laugh knowing it true considering we both agreed to go play soccer at Texas Tech, as long as we could play together.

"Fine, but I'm spending the night after." Maddie laughs.

"I was expecting it." I laugh alongside her, considering she spends the night every night.

I pull out my sandwich and take one bite, trying to force myself to eat, but I quickly realize that my appetite had still not returned, and it's been two months. Daily tasks like eating a damn sandwich were basically impossible on my own. Out of frustration I throw the sandwich over the other side of the bleachers and watch it fall and hit the ground, with jelly splattering everywhere.

"Who's driving you?" I question as Maddie throws her chap stick into her bag.

"Its two blocks away, I'll just drive myself." Maddie laughs, grabbing her keys this time.

"Bad idea." I snark, snatching the keys back away from her.

"I'm not even going to be drinking that much, I'll be fine" she yells as she snatches the keys back and runs down the grand stairs to her car out front. "love you, I'll be home by 2" is the last thing she says before she slams the door.

"Maddie I'm serious-" but before I could finish, she was gone. "love you too, I guess."

I knew it was a bad idea, and I could have made more of an effort to stop her, but I didn't. If I would've known what would happen next, I would've gone to Liam's dumb fucking party. But would'ves don't fix anything.

What's done is done.