Song- Japanese Denim by Daniel Ceaser (sets the mood, recommend you play)
I walk around the school hallways doing the same thing that I have been doing since my return, keeping to myself and making sure to let no body else in. It seems like people are noticing because all I hear as I walk by is snickering and shit talking.
"God she used to be the life of the party, its so sad."
"She used to never be seen without a smile on her face."
"She died with Maddie"
"Has she been to any parties since it happened?"
As I walk, every person I passed had something along the same lines to say about me. It's so sad that I concern other people so much, especially when the people who were saying these things had some serious issues of there own.
Caroline Adam's a girl that Maddie and I would hang out with some times decides to come up to me and speak on behalf of the school. I liked Caroline, she was always super nice to me, but she got annoying after about an hour of hanging out with her, she never calmed down, so we didn't hang out with her too often, but often enough for her to feel as though she could approach me.
"Hey girl, how are you feeling?" Caroline asks, and for some reason, I feel like being nice, so I respond.
"I'm better than I was, getting there." I half smile to please those who said I never do anymore, watching the conversation go down.
"That's amazing, that's all you can do is keep trying!" She exclaims in her naturally loud voice.
"How have you been?" I ask her to be polite and keep it friendly between us.
"Good, good. Me and Brycen are back together and were throwing a party tonight to celebrate and I wanted to see if you wanted to come?!" she exclaims, ending with a look of fear on her face as she awaits my answer.
"We'll see, if I can get all my work done then maybe." I answer, letting the lie slip off my tongue, I knew wasn't going to that party, but I wanted to help the needy, you know, the people who have nothing to do except for gossip. I wanted to give them something new about me to talk about since they're probably getting tired of saying the same 5 things for three months straight.
"Oh my god, yay!!!" Caroline practically screams in my face, excited that her party was the one that I decided to maybe attend.
"I've gotta get to class, but I'll text you what the plans are." I say turning around and heading to second period, already hearing the news spread around from person to person like wild fire.
I walk into social science to be met with Ethan Dolan sitting in my seat, rather than the empty one that was placed right next to it.
I could make a scene and tell him to move, but instead I decide to just settle for the seat change and sit down beside him, which instantly makes him tense up.
The teacher hands out today's assignment and gives minimal instructions before returning to her desk where she plans on ignoring us for the remainder of the period.
I sit there staring at the vocabulary, wondering why these words looked like they weren't even in English, and then out of the corner of my eye I see Ethan Google Translating the words, I guess we were thinking the same thing.
"Are you seriously using Google Translate?" I laugh due to the fact that although the words may be hard and look foreign, this wasn't Spanish class, the words were definitely in English.
"Yeah, I'm being smart, but its not loading." he looks back down as he struggles with the site.
"Yeah I think that might be a user error considering those are English words." I laugh again.
"Oh my god you're lying, shut up." Ethan laughs as he looks down to his paper and back to his screen. "Oh my god they are." He sighs as his face turns bright red out of embarrassment.
We continue to talk and laugh for the remainder of the period, only stopping when the bell rang interrupting us.
"So I heard you were going to Bryce and Caroline's party tonight?" Ethan asks walking me out of the classroom, of course he heard, I hate teenagers.
"Maybe, why are you going?" I question, wanting to know why he cared so much.
"Yeah Grayson texted me out of the blue this morning and said I had to go with him." Ethan replies.
Why would Grayson be going to this party when he still barely went to school, he gets more and more confusing every time I hear his name.
"well I don't have a ton of homework to do, so I might be able to go, we'll see" I respond, actually reconsidering going to this party now that they were.
"Fingers crossed!" Ethan smiled before turning away and running to Grayson who was waiting down the hall and staring at me with his jaw clenched, what is wrong with him?
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once I get home from school, my mind is racing thinking about whether or not to go to this party tonight, although I didn't really feel like it, I do want to see Grayson for reasons that I can't explain, and Maddie would wanna go.
And if I went to the party, I could maybe start to insert myself back into the social scene and stop being so closed off with everyone around me.
Ultimately I decide that it can't hurt, and if it sucks I can always walk home. Besides, how could I miss the meme that was Caroline and Brycen throwing a fucking party to celebrate the return of their toxic relationship,
Lets have some fun!
or at least try to.
YOU ARE READING
Guilt | G.D.
FanfictionI knew it was a bad idea, and I could have made more of an effort to stop her, but I didn't. If I would've known what would happen next, I would've gone to Liam's dumb fucking party. But would'ves don't fix anything. What's done is done.
