thoughts

7.

Happy day.
Went to the beach today and this really cute boy came with us the whole time everyone else just teased us. He's really quiet and didn't say much the whole but he is the cutest thing ever. I wish I actually had a chance with him. My friend managed to put his number in my phone but I don't think nothing will ever come of it especially how I look and how I am.

Update:
I miss the butterflies I got when they put his number in my phone. I had went and clicked on his contact multiple times each time my belly filled with such excitement and fear and happiness and paranoia. I tried, I gave it a shot, it wasn't worth it tho. I just hurt in the end. Didn't know that a small text conversation could change my thought process so much. "Kinda" the one word that brought the pain I was expecting. The pain of rejection the pain of unknowing why. Why did he come up with the excuse was it me or was it the truth. Was he trying to say the one thing to get rid of me? Don't say kinda just say I'm not interested because kinda leaves a small slice of something meaningless that I can still gather to much hope from and crush my own heart. I kinda hate him for that but i kinda still think he is cute but also I kinda don't understand what kinda is supposed to mean.