Was it Worth It?

2. "I love you too." Part 1

Welcome to the second chapter, sorry my writing is shit, I hope you enjoy! (I split this chapter into two parts because it would be over 3800 words if I didn't, sorry for the inconvenience.) ~alex

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Merlin left the throne room and ran past everyone, not caring about the guards chasing after him. He ran until he made it to Gaius's chambers, he turned into them and ran straight into his old room. He closed the door and cast a spell so that only he could get through. It was exactly like he had left it. He only realized that he was crying when he felt a tear drop fall onto his hand. He wiped his face and completely broke down, not caring if anyone heard him. He cried for Will, he cried for Freya, he cried for his Father, he cried for poisoning Morgana, he cried for Lancelot, he cried for everyone he couldn't save. He cried for the years of sitting alone in his cave with only his thoughts to entertain him. He cried until he ran out of tears. It was only then that he realized that someone was trying to break into the room. He used his magic and felt out for who the person was. Once he felt that it was Gwaine he opened the door from across the room, after Gwaine came stumbling in he slammed it closed again.

When Gwaine first saw Merlin he wanted nothing more than to run up and hug his best friend, magic and all. However, he knew better than to interrupt Arthur's court meetings. So he stayed and watched silently, but once Merlin stormed out of the room he could no longer contain himself. Now, looking at Merlin who sits curled up on the floor, hyperventilating into his knees with noticeable tear tracks down his face, he wanted nothing more than to punch Arthur in the gut. He ran over to Merlin and knelt down next to him, silently wrapping his arms around his smaller, shaking frame.

When Gaius walked into his chambers Merlin had calmed down and was talking with Gwaine in the main room. The atmosphere had lightened considerably, Gwaine was in the middle of telling one of the new tavern stories that he had been saving for this reason only. They paused and looked at Gaius when he walked in. The old man smiled teary eyed and walked up to Merlin, wrapping his arms around him.

"I thought I'd never see you again, my boy. Oh how I missed you." Gaius said softly. Merlin hugged his mentor tightly, cherishing the feeling of safety that came with it. He never realized just how empty his banishment had made him, but being there surrounded by the two people who still cared for him gave him a moment of peace. Eventually, Merlin sat back down and Gwaine continued his tavern story while Gaius prepared a dinner for two. He was making Merlin's favorite meal. After a while Gwaine needed to leave so that left Merlin alone with Gaius. He smiles at the food placed in front of him, even after all these years Gaius remembered what his favorite meal was. Merlin starts to dig in, too busy relishing in the taste of real food to notice Gaius's amused stare. Merlin quickly finishes his meal and snaps his fingers to clean his bowl. Gaius raises his infamous eyebrow, but Merlin just shrugs it off.

"If they know what's the point in hiding it?"

Gaius just sighs, "As I'm sure you know it is still illegal to practice magic, that law goes for you too." Merlin just rolls his eyes and puts the bowl back on the shelf. He walks across the room and looks out one of the windows into the square. Never did he think that he would be back, but he was glad he was. Turning back to Gaius he gets and idea.

"I'm going to go walk around the castle grounds, I could use some air after my, erm, breakdown.." Merlin trails off at the end. Gaius nods his head and gestures for the door.

"I won't stop you, but please try to stay out of trouble. I fear this time much more serious repercussions will occur if you ruffle the wrong persons feathers." Gaius says wisely. Merlin dawns his cloak and heads out of the door. He walks down some corridors, smiling and greeting some of the servants that he used to be friends with. Not many of them smile back, but that doesn't bother him too much. Once he is out in the courtyard he pulls his hood up and walks toward the exit of the citadel. He knew that someone would be following him to his destination, but tonight he decided that he didn't really care, it's not like he had anything to lose. He walks the familiar path to the clearing that he used to call Kilgarrah from, pretending not to hear the leaves crunching behind him.