The Mind of a Soldier [1]

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     That night Bucky couldn't let the young girl out of his sight. She was a stone cold killer and yet at the same time she was also a human being. They couldn't be more similar and yet they couldn't be more different. He had had a life once, he knew that much, but Alena was only at the age of five when he first met her. Five years isn't enough time to grasp the entire world, not to mention the memory wiping. Long story short, Bucky knew killing was always the last option, however Alena grew up with one simple fact: Do as your told and comply, or fail and receive the punishment.

     Looking at the young girl now he knew all too well how the past years of her life haunted her. Her eyes were bloodshot while her whole body was shaking. She kept switching between the past and present, reliving the horrors of yesterday only to realise what she had actually done today. The soldier knew because he was going through the exact same thing, which is why he couldn't just drop Alena off at a shelter. If he wasn't ready to be a part of society again neither was she.

     A long time had passed since the remote went flying into the TV. For now they still sat on two rather comfy chairs that faced the largest window in the apartment. Alena gripped the armchair getting increasingly bored and annoyed. Why wasn't he saying anything about this? Why was he ok with her failure? Why hadn't he shoved her in the freezer yet? She knows it's what pierce would have done......

"Why aren't you angry with me?" She caught the soldier off guard as he blinked and shook himself out of a day dream.

"A-angry? Why would I be-" he knew exactly why. Doing stuff like Alena just did would come with consequences back at hydra, but they weren't there anymore. "Listen, those people, the ones that you and I used to listen to all the time? They don't matter anymore." The child furrowed her eyebrows giving a confused look. Bucky took a breath, trying to somehow convince himself he was at least wise enough to tell Alena right from wrong. "You remembered something today right?"

"Yes" she replied shuddering at the memory.

"Then that's good"

"But I broke the TV" Bucky smirked at Alena. Back when he was actually supposed to be alive, he had barely any idea what a television was. "Isn't that bad?"

"A little bit, but you had no control over it, so it's not your fault" something he had to teach himself to believe. Alena looked back out the window. All of those people down in the streets always had so much control, or at least more than she could claim. Her mind was still a broken film and no fairy tale spell was going to fix it. She and the soldier were both in it for the long haul.

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