Beautiful and Broken

CHARTER TEN

FAREEDAH’S POV

I stood on the balcony listening to birds sing while the early morning breeze caressed my face. I kept on thinking about last night’s conversation with Baba and how my life was gradually coming to an end.

"He is my best friend and he has never asked for something big like this. I know you will be in good hands and a very good family. You know I sincerely want what's good for you, I love you very much and I wouldn't send you off to a place I'm not sure of. As much as I love seeing and having you around, I also want you to be happily married and start your own family. Your mum, Allah ya jikanta da rahma ya gafarta mata (May Allah rest her soul and forgive her),"

"Ameen" we both chorused.

"She would be so happy to hear you are getting married, especially into Umar’s family. She'll be the happiest woman if she were alive."

He smiled at me briefly and continued.

"You know with your mum, everything was just easy. She was so kind hearted, didn't interfere in what's not her business, she was a woman of her own. These were some of the few things that attracted me to her even though my family were totally against it. They said all kinds of harsh and mean things about her because she was white, even though my mother supported me, they never did. My uncles were totally against it, they said marrying a white woman was never part of their lineage and I wouldn't spoil it."

He smiled again and continued.

"My mother stood up for me, she said I was old enough to make my own decisions. After all this wasn't my first marriage. I finally got married and it was hell at first. Even my first wife didn't have much problem with it like the way my family took it upon their heads. My brothers, sisters, uncles and the whole extended family were making all sorts of noise, but there was nothing they could do."

He took a deep breath.

"They hated her and picked offence in everything she did but that didn't stop her from respecting them like she should. However, at the end of the day she was everyone's favourite because of her kindness and patience. So I don't want you to get married into a family that you'll be hated or disliked, because your mum suffered it and I don't want the same for you. I want to give you out to a family I trust and I know will take care of you like their own daughter. I really wanted you to get married to Sageer, because I saw the love he has for you in everything he says and does but Allah had other plans for you which is surely the best. Patience is everything, and I know my friend will treat you like his daughter. I know Yusuf will also love you with all his heart."

I was already crying but I didn't let him see my eyes.

"What say you my baby? Your consent is the only thing we are waiting for." Baba asked me in a soft voice.

I was quiet. I had no idea what to say to him. Since he started this conversation, my mind has been thrown into a turmoil.  Is this really happening? I cleared my throat and answered him.

"Baba I would do anything that will make you and Mama happy. And I know anything you choose for me, is for my own good. So I accept Baba. I will get married to Yusuf.”
Immediately I said that, Baba’s happiness knew no bounds. He was so happy about my reply. He placed his hands on my head, prayed for me and told me to go.

I exited his sitting room with tears in my eyes. I was walking really fast trying to get to my room. My heart was heavy and I needed to pour it out.

"Hey!"

I was startled. Who could that be?

"Hey!" I heard the voice again.