Redemption II

Chapter 63

"You're worried."

"About?"

"Don't play the fool, Severus."

"She will be fine, she is...where she needs to be..." He was a horrible liar.

"She isn't now, but she will be soon." Galia turned her head slowly, watching the man pacing in front of the fireplace, "You're going to kill him aren't you?"

"You tell me." Severus glanced her way, trying to catch a glimpse of her eyes but she was just as clever as he and had turned her eyes before he could see clearly.

A small smirk slithered across her lips and her hand came up to hide her amusement. "Why have you left her there when you're obviously so opposed?"

"You're the Seer." Severus snarled and turned away completely. He knew exactly why he'd done what he'd done. While not the noblest of methods, he himself was bound to his own inner demons. He wasn't some knight in shining armor. He was just a man, a scared, cowardly man.

He had stayed away for fear of being caught returning her memories. Well, most of them. The missing memories now sat inside his room, hidden away. He had visited her only one other time, during the night. He had found her curled up in his cloak, peacefully sleeping away. It had stirred up something deep inside him, something he couldn't identify. He had left after only a few minutes.

It had been odd to see her again. He had made sure that her fugue-self wouldn't be able to spill the magical beans so to speak. The subconscious feeling he had placed inside her mind had still been in place when he'd rifled through what had been left of her mind. He had been shocked and nearly horrified to find that she, not the healers, had been the one virtually erase away everything that she was. Though the healers had finished the job, she was still responsible.

When he'd viewed the memory, he had been nearly beside himself with anger and confusion that later turned into soul-crushing guilt. He had left her mind such a mess, that when all the protections he'd hastily put into place finally broke away it had given her a complete mental break down. He could still see her pain stricken face as the memories she could no longer process fell from her eyes while she desperately begged the healers to make it all go away. He knew the healers had had their own agenda at the time but he hadn't put much thought into their now so obvious compliance. He should have gone to her then, but he hadn't been able to. Fawkes had taken him too far away, so far away that even he hadn't known where he was until four days after. His own body had betrayed him then, leaving him only able to pick up the broken pieces.

He had planned to take much more time carefully putting her back together. Determined to leave her better than before; to take away all the pain and hurt the war had done to destroy the light that had so brightly shined in her eyes. He had planned yes, but fate was a cruel and heartless mistress. When he had seen the twisted memory of the Weasley boy touching her in his sleep and he had nearly torn the house apart to find him. The thirst for revenge had never tasted so sweet. Unfortunately, he knew if he'd revealed himself then, his entire plan would have been for naught. Instead, he'd taken the memory away. It was distorted anyway, like everything inside her fugue-state had been.

There was no fear upon her face when the boy had done what he'd done. Only confusion, she had remained still, unsure of what to do. It had been almost like the time inside the cellar and just as painful to witness. She had been obeying his orders. It was he, who was truly to blame. The boy had been merely dreaming, he rationalized. As wrong as it was, Severus didn't know the circumstances leading to the boy even being in the bed with her. In his heart, he felt it was wrong. Exceptionally wrong. But who was he to judge? Hadn't he done nearly the same thing? Hadn't he done worse? He didn't know for sure if she had invited him, or if he'd come on his own. It still riled his blood and tormented his sleep.