Chasing Freedom

The return of the lazy Cabello Sundays

Camila POV:

My old room still looked the same as how I left it. You could take that literally, because there were still clothes hanging draped around my office chair. The clothes hanging there on the chair felt like a wardrobe of a lifetime ago. The old me would be wearing sun dresses and cute bows on my head to finish off the outfit, not something I was still wearing but back then I wouldn't be caught in anything else.

That style was another thing I left behind, when I ran with that monster. The change in wardrobe wasn't entirely because of that monster, though. I wanted to grow up and evolve my style accordingly. Little did I know, that I had to grow up rather quickly. I was almost immediately introduced to some off the hardships that life had to offer. It only took one slap, to kick me from my cloud nine, where everything was sunny and bubbly. I was slapped back to reality, you could say. Luckily for me, that just like scar tissue, your flesh becomes thicker after every assault. I wouldn't say thank you or anything to that monster, but he did consequently made me stronger. At least something positive came out of it.

The remorse of what I put my parents through, hit me in full force. Just seeing my room remained this untouched, was hitting me real hard. They didn't change a thing in my room, it was as if time stayed frozen for them. Maybe they didn't want to face that I actually left, expecting me to come running right back at any given moment.

I guess I did break their bubble, that nothing was wrong, earlier on. I think them witnessing my scars was a massive way to break through their picture perfect life. The perfect picture did not exist, nor did perfection. It was all a matter of different point of views. Sometimes we needed to be faced with the cruelty of life, to be reminded what is possible. We are all visual beings, we humans, we only believe in something when we can see it. Although, I didn't want it to be seen, it was necessary for them to witness to believe what I went through.

My dad even had to go to another room. Apparently, he didn't want to scare me with his brutal outburst of anger as his reaction to the scene. He later explained that he was angry at himself, because he blamed himself for letting me leave. I felt bad that he blamed himself, because he was definitely not at fault. What was even worse, was that he apologized for not coming after me. He had nothing to feel sorry for, if anything he only did what I asked for when I told them I would leave. That moment was the moment where I signed and sealed my own fate.

(flashback)

23/06/2017 = graduation day/ night

The club was buzzing with excitement all around. It was the night that the class of 2017 finally escaped the social boundaries of high school after all. No more social cliques deciding on how you should behave. No more trying to fit in, where you would lose yourself on your way up. Nope, today marked the day we could finally be free to find our real identity. The world was ours to explore and to reinvent in our creation. Today was the day that the rest of our lives would begin.

It was this sentiment that brought all the fresh ex-seniors together to celebrate our emancipation of the chains that high school placed upon us. Alcohol was flowing freely among us, none of us caring that we actually weren't supposed to drink yet. I mean we were old enough to enlist ourselves in the army or drive a car, but we couldn't drink? Well, fuck that, tonight there were no rules to follow. No, tonight it was a night to remember. It might even be the last night that we all would be joined together, because most of us were leaving the city anyway. If there was ever an excuse to make the most of it, this night served as the perfect excuse to indulge ourselves in hedonism.

I knew that this was the last night in Miami for me, before I would leave with Wesley to spend some time in New York. I was going to visit the city during the holidays, while Wesley was doing an internship in his dad's firm for the summer. We have been talking about this trip for a while now, and we were going to leave in a few days. My parents were a bit weary about this, because they didn't want their oldest daughter to spend so much time alone in a foreign city. Their worry did not decrease when I mentioned that I wouldn't be alone, since I had Wesley with me. I figured they were just afraid that I would love it there, and not come back. Their worries were totally misplaced though, because I would only be gone for 2 months. I had no intention of settling yet, I was far too young for that.