Diary of a clumsy but sensitive person

things happens...

Things are always moving forward. But sometimes you have this weird impression to go back in the past. And most of the time when it happens, you don't want it to... The end of the scholar year is very close but it feels like the beginning of the year, I feel like I am discovering everything, I have been attending this course for nearly two years. And now I feel like I have wasted two years of my life. If I was able to get a miracle and get an easy enough exam, I could hope for a 45%, get a pass and forget all about it –not that I know much but still-.

This is getting me very tired, physically and mentally tired. One doesn't go without the other. I am stressing, I therefore can't sleep and my body is tired making me even more sensitive than usual and it is very tiring... I feel exhausted and absolutely not motivated for any of this...

My physical exhaustion is making me a lot more susceptible than usual, I feel depressed again and nothing I do is satisfying because I am a negative person when I'm tired... When I get enough rest, I am back to myself, I can see things completely differently, but when you're not in an environment you'd appreciate, in a place and job/course that you don't like and that is expecting a lot of energy from you, you get stressed, overwhelmed, and getting to sleep is a proper challenge.

At the moment, my night are not longer than 6 hours maximum. I normally need at least 8. It doesn't seems like a lot difference but, when added up all together and minus all the extra hours of worrying before to go to bed, my body and mind are really not coping.

I am being worried again, negative about happy and good things... but I now know how direct the link is to my lack of sleep... If you can, sleep. If not fuck them all. All your problems. Fuck it. Get it out of your mind, take time for yourself and get some sleep. Your body needs to get some rest. Listen to it and get some.