Insecure (Completed)

14

Devonte

I always fell for the girls who were broken. I didn't get that shit. Why did I see so much in Yazmine Carter and she saw absolutely nothing in herself? I didn't want to fix her, I couldn't. I thought she would realize just how extraordinary she was but she didn't.

And then she had the nerve to question my intentions. Like from the jump I hadn't tried to be hers. Shit. She wanted to friend me to death. Females killed me with that friend shit. Nah, you don't want to be friends you want to string us both along. I know I said it before, but I was done.

I couldn't fucking win. I stormed out of my room, upset. Trey was still in the couch.

"Nigga, the fuck wrong with you?"

"Man. I'm about to be knocked so let me get the couch." I ignored the question.

"Aight, I guess." He got up. "You need some pussy," he muttered, walking away. I ain't even answer his ass. He's the same one who walked in when I was about to get some pussy so he could miss me with that shit.

I looked at the couch. It looked bare, no pillows, no sheets, no blanket or nothing. I could go back to my room and grab some, but I didn't have the energy to see Yazmine. I just got in the couch and closed my eyes.

"Tae?" Several hours later a whisper woke me up. That and someone was gently shaking me. Yazmine.

"Yeah?"

The kitchen light shone and I made out Yazmine's face.

"Did you eat?"

"What?"

"I made some chicken and rice. If you're hungry."

I was hungry. But I didn't know why she thought she could just wake me up out of my sleep, like shit was sweet. We were beefing, damn. This girl couldn't do nothing right, not love, not hate.

"Aight."

Sleepily I walked into the kitchen. Yaz handed me a plate. It smelled hella good, but I had to set the record straight. "I'm a eat this food, but I still ain't talking to you." Before I could eat, she took the plate back.

"The fuck?"

"Don't be like that, Devonte," she sighed.

"Fuck is you sighing for? You the one that tapdanced all over my feelings, not the other way around." Damn, I said I wasn't gonna talk.

"I'm sorry, I really am."

"Aight."

She touched my arm. "Nah, I'm really sorry. I was being selfish, only considering myself in the equation. Like you don't have just as much to lose as me if we were together."

"Why you telling me this?" So she woke me up to eat, but she wouldn't even let me eat. Since she wanted to hold my plate hostage, I moved to the fridge. Wasn't shit in there. I tried the freezer. A lonely carton of strawberry ice cream sat on the shelf. I took it out, found a spoon and shoved a scoop in my mouth.

"Because, I'm not going to let one bad past relationship ruin relationships for me. I've been so fucking childish. And you've been so fucking patient, I don't deserve you Devonte." She sighed again. "That's the real reason I pushed you away. I'm a mess. I don't want you to have to fix me. It was never because I didn't want you."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you gonna say? After I basically pour my heart out to you?" Her voice went up.

"What do you want me to say? Yaz, I'm tired of being on a fucking yo-yo with your ass, all you do is yank the string." I knew my voice was cold, just like my heart.