Insecure (Completed)

20

Devonte

I don't know what it was, but it was like all my old shit hit me at the same time. My momma, my pops, Bre, the baby, allat. Seeing Bre in that bathroom like that undid three years of counseling, and it was like my momma was dead all over again.

Trey been telling me, that I had to leave Bre alone because she was always reeling me back in. I couldn't help that I felt like I had to save her. I lost my momma, I ain't wanna lose her too. Even though we wasn't together and we never was gonna be together again I had mad love for Bre.

Now that I knew she was getting help I could breathe again, I didn't always have to drive over to her spot and make sure she was eating. Make sure she wasn't drowning in a pool of her blood. Those days were over.

Yazmine was stronger than I thought, because she ain't even blink when I broke down in her arms. I ain't mean to. But like I said, that shit hit me, and hit me hard.

I ain't even cry at my mommas funeral. I was too angry at her, for leaving us. My pops was locked up, and I ain't know where we were posed to go.
Took me three years to forgive her, and I finally cried, and I cried for a long time.

It felt awkward as fuck when I woke up the next morning. I never cried in front of anyone in my life. And now my punk ass just cried in front of a girl I known all of three months.

"Good morning," Yaz said. She was all snuggled up on me. This girl was always up before me.

"Yo, Yaz, about last night," I started to say.

She looked at me with soft eyes. "Tae, it's okay, we don't gotta talk about it..."

Crazy how the roles switched. Usually I was the one tryna avoid conversations.

"Nah, I wanna." I exhaled. "I appreciate you for being there for me, last night. That shit, it ain't usually me, but all that hurt just came back. And I know it's a lot of shit to drop on someone, but-"

"Devonte it's okay. We're okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

I needed her to understand that she didn't have to worry about Bre. There was a reason Bre and I broke up. Bre was my past, but Yaz was my present and hopefully future. "Okay, but I want you to know, you got my full attention, aight? You mines, and I ain't going nowhere."

She smiled, that signature Yazmine smile. I couldn't help it, I smiled back.

Midterms were coming up, and so was Thanksgiving break. I was about to be in the library heavy. On Monday, I actually woke up before Yazmine for a change. I took my whole shower and everything before she even opened her eyes.

She woke up at 7 AM on the dot. "You up?" She wrinkled her nose, rubbing her face.

"Yeah, I been up." I grinned down at her. She wasn't even short, but compared to me she was so damn small.

"You happy, huh? Just cuz you woke up before me." She climbed out of bed, her shirt all rolled up, flashing me.

"Damn girl, just gonna have your titties out like that? I thought you had a man!"

She rolled her eyes and tugged down her shirt. "Bye, I need to pee." Scampering towards the bathroom she stopped to get a towel. Obviously she was gonna shower too.

I decided to see if Trey was up. I poked my head in his room and it was empty, so I went to the kitchen.

Since Yaz had gone shopping, we had real food in the house. Trey was standing at the stove, trying not to burn some bacon.