Insecure (Completed)

29

Yazmine

"Yazmine?"

I averted my eyes. I was not trying to do this right now. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen Rico since graduation. Almost six months.

Sighing, I yanked out my headphones and acknowledged him. "Yeah. What do you want?"

He jogged over to me, and I found myself taking a couple steps backwards. Even though it was cold out, he was covered in sweat. Obviously, he had the same idea as me. Rico was a tall, solid nigga. He had tattoos all up and down his light brown skin, and eyes that seemed to change colors in the light. Right now they were hazel. Outfitted in Georgia State sweats and nothing else, sweat trickled down his body. It was a body I once used to salivate over, complete with arms that used to hold me, and lips that used to kiss me and tell me "I love you." Lips that lied to me. I pictured this moment many times, but I never expected to run into Rico when I was sweaty and panting. I wasn't ready.

"You look..." he trailed off and I steeled myself as I waited for the insult to come. After our break up, he never had anything positive to say about me. "Different," was the word he settled on.

Yeah that's that post-fuckboy glow, I thought to myself. "You look the same, but I hope you changed internally." I mean, he was a good-looking boy. But shit, was there anything else to him?

I pushed my headphones back in and turned to finish my run.

"Yazmine, wait!"

Irritated I spun back around. "What, nigga?"

"I just wanna talk."

"Ain't shit to say."

"Yazmine, please." I studied him, expecting old feelings of hurt and resentment to resurface, but surprisingly, I felt absolutely nothing. Feelings for Rico didn't live here no more. I no longer was the self-loathing girl he turned me into when he cheated. It wasn't me, it was him, and I could finally see that.

Now here he was, begging for a chance to speak. He shifted nervously. Yeah, buddy. Now he was the nervous one. My life was far from perfect, but it was perfectly fine if I never saw him again. So I decided to grant his wish.

"What do you have to say?"

"I wanna apologize, I feel like in all that went down, I never did that. Next thing I knew you were gone, and I never even could attempt to make things better."

"You had your chance to apologize, instead you told me to accept that you needed more than one woman." I put my hands behind my head, breathing. I really wanted to just get back to my run. I didn't want to listen to Rico whine.

"I'm sorry for being so immature. I didn't, I don't deserve you. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

I saw sincerity in his eyes, but then again once upon a time I saw love too and that wasn't real. But I didn't care. I was done. "Okay, Rico." Once again, I turned to run.

"Damn girl, wait! How you been? I heard you was in Indiana, how's that? You back home for Thanksgiving?" The questions rushed out of his lips.

"You doing a little too much now," I told him, not bothering to turn back around. "I gotta go."

"Can we at least be friends?"

I spun around so hard I almost tripped. "Friends?" I snarled. "Nah, I'm so good on that. I allowed you that weak ass apology, now leave me the fuck alone. You messing with my run."

Then I sprinted off. And Rico, he never could beat me in a race. He couldn't do nothing but eat my dust.

When I finally made it back home I realized my mistake. I forgot a key. I tried knocking on the door, but no one answered. I rang the doorbell. Nothing. Heavy ass sleepers.