Insecure (Completed)

16

Yazmine

"So what's going on with you, Tae," I whispered. It was finally Friday night, and I was ready to take a beak from classes and focus on us. This boyfriend shit was taking some adjusting to. First there was the sex. The sex had been amazing. Granted, I didn't have much to compare it to, but I was on cloud nine and ten. I wasn't used to this shit. Yeah, I had a boyfriend before, but that was in high school. We had to sneak around to have sex, and I damn sure never spent the night with Rico.

We were laying in his bed, tangled up in each other. I was running my finger up and down his chest, and he was stroking my thigh.

I was in my sleep clothes and I finally asked him what was on his mind. All week I had sensed something was wrong with Devonte. If we were gonna do this thing, this relationship, we were gonna have to talk about shit.

"What you mean?" He had the best voice. Honestly, I could listen to it all day, but then again, he wasn't a talker.

"I mean these last few weeks, you been avoiding everyone. You been different. Like, you were always closed off, but you're even more closed off. What's wrong?"

He cleared his throat. "I tolja my pops is in jail. He getting out."

"That's great news!" I lifted up and smiled down at him.

"Nah, it's not. I mean, I don't want his ass in jail, because he is my pops and shit, but I don't want him out, tryna slither his way back in my life." The storm was back in his eyes. "While he's in jail, I don't gotta think about him. Don't gotta see him. I can forget."

"Oh." I swallowed. I couldn't relate to having mixed feelings about my parents. I had two loving parents I adored. "What did he do to make you not wanna see him?"

Devonte was silent for a long time. So long I thought he was sleep. My fingers of their own accord slipped lower down his chest. Until Tae grabbed my hand. "Stay tryna violate me," he grumbled. "Don't start nothing you can't finish, baby girl." He was right, I couldn't finish anything, I could feel the beginnings of soreness between my thighs.

Quickly I switched subjects, back to his father. "So you and your dad, y'all have a bad relationship."

"Me and my pops don't have a relationship at all. Shit, he's been locked up since I was eight, and before that, wasn't like he wanted to be my dad half the time." He played with my fingers, then brought them to his lips.

In the past few hours, I had learned more about Devonte than in the months we had known each other. Shit was wild to me. "That's messed up."

"Yeah."

I racked my brain for any other questions I had. "What about Bre?"

"What about her?"

"Did y'all ever, date? I just feel like you have a deep bond with her or something." It was just something about the way he was always making sure she was good, like he was scared to lose her.

"She's my ex. So of course we had a bond. She been through some shit, and she been real depressed. I check on her, because sometimes she don't eat, she won't leave the house, and shit. Her family don't be taking her depression serious though, they think she can just stop being sad and shit goes away. But what's hurting her, is hurting her deep. It ain't that simple."

"What the fuck, why would they dismiss her pain instead of getting her help?"

"Cuz that's the type of family she got."

"Well, I admire you for being there for her, and I hope she gets the help she needs."

"Yeah, me too, and I'm really pushing for her to do therapy or counseling or some shit. But she gotta want to, and the way her family talk down on that shit, I don't know. Nobody wanna feel like they crazy, and she ain't she just in a bad space."

Damn. This boy was just warming my heart. He was so good. To think I almost missed out because I wanted to be a coward. He was real life talking paragraphs to me, and it made me feel special.

I crawled up Tae's body. "Girl, what are you doing?" Instantly, my ass was in his hands. He rubbed on it a little.

"I'm just tryna be all up on my man," I said happily.

"Weird ass." He was starting to talk in his sleepy voice. That shit was sexy. Everything about him was sexy.

Damn, I think I was falling in love with him. I hoped he could love me back.

A/N: Short but important chapter. Shit is about to go downnnnnn. And Yoooo 6K reads? 1K votes? *milly rocks* Ayeeeee! 💜💜💜💜