Universes || Phan {Completed}

Guns

Phil climbed into his car, slamming his hands against the wheel. That could be the last interaction with Dan he ever has, it can't end like that. He wanted to be with Dan, if that meant risking his life then so be it. He loved Dan with all of his heart and he couldn't bear another day pretending he didn't. He needed to fix himself.

He ran out of the car and banged on the door

"That was quick" Dan sighed, annoyed
"Babe- I love you so much" Phil hugged Dan tightly, the tightest hug he had ever given any human in the world.
"I-I love you too" Dan giggled softly into Phil's hair. Dan's breath warming his cold scalp "Why're you professing your love though?"
"I'm gonna get out of it, babe" Phil sighed into Dan "I'm gonna get out for you."
Dan hugged Phil back, just as hard, before kissing him.

"Really?" He whispered, eyes twinkling from the street lights.
"Yeah" Phil smiled, kissing Dan. 

He wanted the (potentially) last thing he tasted to be Dan.

"Why're you professing your love though?" Dan giggled
"There's a tiny chance I may get killed" Phil's voice was almost inaudible.

That was a lie. There was a huge chance that Dan would wake up tomorrow and Phil wouldn't.

"Babe- I-" Dan looked flustered
"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. I won't die" He smiled "But just in case"
"Darling- Don't do the just in case please" Dan's eyes were watering "Promise me you won't die"

Dan shakily reached out his hand, but Phil couldn't shake it.

"I can't promise that Dip" He whispered. That was the second time he had ever denied a promise.
Dan nodded, wiping tears
"Try. Try your hardest. Please" He hugged Phil, Dan's fingers ran up into Phil's hair.
"I will" Phil replied, but his voice was shaky "Also, Dan?"
"Yes, Phil?"
"Will you be my boyfriend?"
"Yes- Of course" Dan hugged Phil again before kissing him "Remember to try- I'd be lost without you"

All he could do was try.

So he got back into his car, and all he could think of was Dan. He could feel the traces of Dan all over him, on his lips, in his hair, on his back.
He was surrounded by the love he didn't deserve.

/\/

"What do you want Phil?" Jodie sneered, looking up
"I want out, Jodie. Out. I don't want any money, I won't spill anything"
"Swear on your fuckin' boyfriends' life" She placed her hand on her hip, making her boney figure even more obvious. Jodie always called Dan Phils boyfriend. Except now she wasn't wrong.
"I swear on Daniel James Howell's life that I won't spill"
"Bullshit- You guys probably broke up" She sighed, taking a long drag of her cigarette.
"Why would I break up with him?- In fact we only just started properly dating" Phil was shocked. Even Jodie knew how much Dan meant to him
"To keep him safe? That's why I left Branton and ma kids"
Phil sighed
"Dan and I haven't broken up. I'm doing this for him."
"Then swear on ya' own life. You wouldn't want to lose that now that you finally have Dan"
"I swear on my own life"

/\/

Phil began typing out a text as he walked down the street.

"I'm out"

He was grinning from ear to ear. He was finally free. Now he just needed to get un-addicted to every drug he used, then he'd be perfect for Dan. Then maybe Dan would marry him.

/\/

It was early morning, August 2013. The air was cold and crisp, it hurt almost as it brushed onto Phil's face. He pulled his scarf up over his mouth in an attempt to keep more warmth in.
There were occasional cars driving past, not many, though. Which made sense, since it wasn't even 4 am.

He had just pressed send and was now struggling to put his glove back onto his hand.

'Really?' Dan replied.

Phil was smirking, he had the opportunity to troll Dan, or just let him be happy.

Phil chose happy, but he always chose happy.

/\/

It was cold, 4 degrees Celsius to be precise. Phil was trudging back to his car, using street lights as his only source of real light, to avoid wasting his phone battery.

He was focused on his breathing. He had nothing else to focus on, so breathing was the best option.

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale exh-

Phil felt a sharp pain in his torso.

It was brief though, soon Phil felt nothing.

\/\

Dan woke up expecting Phil to be there, at Dan's house. But he wasn't. His dad was, though. Surprisingly early. He thought they were the only ones home

Instead, there was a police officer waiting in the lounge with his dad.

"Daniel Howell?" They looked over at Dan, who was wearing Phil's hoodie and some track pants.
"Yes?" Dan replied sleepily.
"Could you please sit down?" She smiled wearily at Dan. It was 11 am according to the clock in the lounge.
"Yeah sure," Dan sighed, plonking himself down.

\/\

"Do you know why Phil Lester would be there?" She sighed, Dan hadn't been giving good answers- instead insisting why it was important
"Why are you asking me about Phil?" Dan impatiently sighed. He was fed up with her bullshit.
"Phil Lester was found dead this morning" The policewoman looked guilty "I'm sorry for your loss-"
"No. No, he didn't" Dan sobbed. "He couldn't've because-"
Except nothing was going through Dan's mind except Phil. How he was so worried last night even when he promised he'd be fine.

"He wa- H- He w- was leaving a d-d-drug r-ring" Dan sobbed louder, his dad comforting him.
"There is a popular drug spot just a few minutes away from where he was found."
"How did it happen?" Dan's dad asked as Dan decided to drown out whatever they were saying because he didn't want to know.

He didn't want to know how much pain Phil felt, he didn't want to know when or why or who, he didn't want to know where Phil was. He needed Phil. He needed Phil because Phil was comfortable and soft.

But Phil was already gone and now Dan had nobody