Universes || Phan {Completed}

Cocaine

"Isn't your dad home?" Phil asked quietly
"No- another business trip. Do you wanna stay the night?"
"Of course- you aren't feeling well and someone has to look after you" He smirked, slowly sitting up.

\/\

"This smells- amazing" Phil smiled as he walked into the kitchen, his hands briefly sliding around Dan's waist before he hastily pulled back. Dan was slightly hurt by this interaction.
"Why the hell do you always do that" Dan mumbled

"Do what?" Phil replied, smirking still
"Do all the flirty stuff- kiss me on the head- cuddle me- wrap your arms around my waist-  call me darling- look after me- talk about how you liked kissing me- Yet you always insist we are nothing but friends"
"Dan- I-"
"You say you don't want to hurt me, but Goddamnit Phil I haven't been hurt by anyone as much as I get hurt by you. I have been ignoring it for so long, letting all of the times you've claimed to your friends that we are just friends build up. I can't take it anymore. You're screwing with my emotions, Phil. You must be doing it intentionally cause you could not be acting this way and pretending that you don't notice how I react."
"Dan I have a reason-"
"Tell me, Phil. Tell me why you keep fucking with my emotions"

Dan had stopped cooking and was facing Phil with tears streaming down his face.

"I'm a horrible person. I have fucked over my own life- you don't deserve to be feeling like this, I have noticed how you act. I fucking wish I never noticed so I could say that I'm just oblivious but I can't lie to you. I can keep shit from you but I can't lie."
"Explain"
"I kept from you what happened to Conner- He was given the drugs by Jax and Daniel W, they made him take the entire packet. I kept from you how they kept dealing drugs. I kept from you how the dealt me drugs. I kept from you how I not only take drugs, but I fucking deal them, too. I drink, I smoke, I take drugs, I force everyone away from me- I can't seem to force you away. I have tried. I'm a horrible person to be around. I'm a bullshit influence. I drink before school every day to numb my fucking mind- I smoke after school to try and quiet the demons telling me how I can't get back to where I was. I take drugs to try to reach the universes we made when I was happy- When I didn't need fucking chemicals and substances to get serotonin. When I didn't try to force myself away from you."

"You take drugs?" Dan was taken back by this
"Yes and I'm an emotional mess because I have only had a bottle of beer today- no cigarettes, no drugs no pills" Phil sighed. "I'm not good for you Dan. I should go-"
"Phil stay" Dan pleaded "We need to talk about this-"
"I don't need to talk about anything, I know I messed up but my entire fucking life has been a mess up aside from you."

Dan kissed Phil

It was soft and brief

"Fuck you're beautiful" Phil sighed
"You have the prettiest eyes" Dan replied, as they kissed again.

\/\

"Dan I'm sorry" Phil whispered as the broke apart
"We'll get through it-" Dan smile hopefully "But you have to try and stop dealing"
"Dan I-"
"Please" Dan's voice was barely audible "Please"
"I- I'll try"
"When?"
"I don't fucking know" Phil sighed "I can't just leave right away. It's not that simple"
"I don't want to be dating you if you're doing those things without intending to stop soon, Phil-"
"Fine, whatever. Fuck you, Babe- Dan"

Phil stormed out. Dan heard his car door slam.