What I Call Normal [Stan x Kyle fanfic](Finished)

Drunkish Fight

When I woke up, my mom had been screaming at me and was pinching my ear to get up.
"Kyle!! You're late for school!!"
Ahhhh shit!
When I heard those four words I was up in a flash and got ready in not-human time, about 30 seconds.
"Ready Mom!" I got to her at the doorway and she froze, but shook it off and moved to the door like always. I got out first, then Ike, then Mom, and I made my way the way I usually go. But I went to Stan's house instead. I knocked on the door but then I heard screaming, once again I had to be Stan's prince in shining armor from his fucked up sister.
I burst in to see Shelly pinning Stan to the wall by the dining table and Stan crying and kicking at Shelly with a look in his eyes that was worse than I've seen ever.
"YOU WERE DRINKING ALCOHOL, HUH?? YOUR'E UNDERAGED YOU FUCKING MORON!!!"
"K Y L E ! ! !"
"HAHA!! CALLING OUT TO YOUR CUTIE PATOOTIE BOYFRIEND, HUH?? WELL, IT WON'T WORK YOU TURD!!!"
Ok all I con get from this is that Shelly found out that Stan is drinking. And she said not to go back to the house, so I guess that's why she was doing this now.
I got up to Shelly and she looked at me ridiculously and about to laugh. Then I punched her in the boob, I found out that they were really tender while the maturing of a woman's body is taking place so I figured that it would hurt, which it did. She cupped her hands around her womanly spot, dropping the now doll-like Stan who was about to vomit. I got him outside since it was too late to go upstairs and he did what he had to do on the side of his house. I waited in the front, but then he hugged me after about a minute of waiting from behind.
"I'm sorry..." he said mournfully. "That you had to see that..."
"It's ok dude, it's ok...!"
I hugged him and he hugged back, crying in the middle of it. We both started our way to the bus stop after the awkward hug of apology, my hand on his upper hip and his hand on my shoulder blade. Was I his bodyguard boyfriend now?
"Ha!! Gay!!!" I heard Cartman walk up to us as soon as we got to the bus stop.
"Shut up fatass, I got a good reason to date him anyway!" Stan's face turned bright red and he put his hands to his face.
"I knew that I was with a bunch of gay fags..." he tried to murmur under his breath but we all heard it cause of how obnoxious he speaks.
"I heard that! And remember, we changed that word from gay people to those annoying fucks that always drove their motorcycles at night." I said, trying to be sort of snarky.
"Ugh, just shut up already, you Jew; and don't you dare laugh you drunky!!"
Stan stopped his embarrassment and became Clyde all over again.
"CARTMAN FOR FUCKS SAKE!!" I screamed.
Stan then went full attack mode while in his crying stage. He took out a half full beer bottle SOMEHOW and drank the rest. I tried to prevent it even though confused at where he hid the bottle from my sight but I couldn't; he drank the rest and hiccuped after. He wobbled a bit but managed to smash the bottle on the ground with a spiky and cutting-edge still intact just as Kenny and Butters arrived at the bus stop.
Stan placed Cartman on the pole and aimed the sharp edges by his fat chin. He made a big circle of blood and scratches on Cartman's chin as the fat fuck screamed in pain, tears in his eyes like Stan's, but more of them. When Stan stopped with Cartman having tears and blood run down his oversized chin, he screamed at him loud and clear, "If you ever call me a fucking drunky again, I'm gonna cut you open... like *hic* like Jason! You hear, you fucking fattie??"
Cartman, who was now white with fear, nodded vigorously. Stan finally let him down and I came to his side, along with Kenny and Butters. Stan hesitated for a bit and held my hand tightly, while Kenny was doing a T-pose in front of Cartman and Butters looked disappointingly at him even though he was about to laugh.
Cartman stood up by himself and stayed silent for the rest of the 20 minutes we waited for the bus. He had gained several injuries during the week, what a a surprise. The nose breaking and this. He got Butters to help him while Kenny lectured him about not bullying Stan unless he wanted to get disembodied. When he was finally done, we gone to our regular spots, and everything seemed normal; peaceful. I asked if it was the same to Stan, but he said it was when I was ever around. I blushed a deep red and I guessed it was the same from me to him. We did make each other happy, I guess. And he was so cute. I didn't know his or why but when he was small, he was so adorable like when he's sleeping!! I wanna hug him and protect him for the rest of my life...! I'm becoming Craig, great.
We heard the bus come to a stop after arriving and went inside. Everything was as normal as it always is in our bus. Wendy wasn't looking at me this time though. She was looking at Stan, but Stan seemed to ignore her and pay attention to me now. She looked heartbroken by this, but defiant. Something felt different about her now that we had that talk and Stan got into the way. I hope it doesn't get me or Stan killed though.
We took our spots and Stan was out as quick as a light like always. Kenny and Butters was talking, like always. Cartman gave Heidi some of his sweets like fucking always. I wanted something different to happen for once... jeezus.
We finally stopped at the school and everyone headed out. I woke up Stan and we exited lady cause he kissed me for half a minute cause the lady told us to get off the bus. I bet she didn't even care if we did anything to it's limit, she would just say 'Get on the bus!' or 'Get off the bus!' That, my friends, is what we call stupidity.
And stupidity is what defines this town. This fucking weird, gay, loser town that I have mixed feelings about.
...help?

Words: 1133