I Know You Can't Speak

Part 6: (Jasmine)

We had to go view Faith one last time before the funeral began and when I saw her lying peacefully in the casket with her pretty pink dress and the bows in her hair to match it, I didn't break down like I thought I would. I tried to be optimistic, telling myself that my baby was resting peacefully and in a better place than I was. I touched her cheeks, her eyebrows and long pretty eye lashes then touched her cold fingers before I bent down and kissed her.

"God needed you more than we did. Now you're mommy and daddy's angel" I whispered. Lawrence walked up to the casket next to me and we both just stood there staring at her. Our beautiful baby that we had created together. Now we had to lay her to rest together and it just wasn't fair.

The funeral was attended by my family and friends as well as Lawrence's family and friends. Our co workers and Faith's old daycare teachers also came to pay their respects. The news was there covering the outside as people filed in and viewed her, each persons tears causing mine to flow as they came to give me a hug. Lawrence's family always treated me as if I was apart of their own, even after we broke up and I was grateful for that.

"We're gonna get through this together" his mom told me.

"That was my niece that was like my daughter, don't you dare hesitate to call me if you need me" his sister said. Right when they were about to close the casket and start the service, a woman walked down the aisle. I didn't see her face but, she was skinny and fragile looking, with a black baggy dress on because she had no curves for it to hug. She had on heels and her hair was pulled back into a low bun and she had a little boy who looked like 5, walking with her, holding his hand. She walked up to the casket and stood for a few seconds before bending down to kiss Faith and walking to sit in the back row.

"Was that who I think it was?" Deja whispered to me. I turned around to see but couldn't find her seat.

"Who?" I asked as I turned back around.

"It looked like Kim" Lawrence whispered and I instantly got upset. I waited until the service was over and when it was, I made my way to the back of the church. I could see the same lady hurrying her way out of the church and I caught her just before she made her exit.

"Why the fuck are you here!?" I snapped as her as I grabbed her shoulder. She spun around and I didn't recognize the woman staring back at me. Her face was clear but sunk in and she had lost a lot of weight, looking sick.

"I just came to lay my respects..." she said as she stared at me. "She was my grand daughter after all.." she said to me.

"You never met her a day in your life, she wasn't shit to you!" I said raising my voice and trying to keep it low at the same time. Just then, Lawrence and Deja walked up to me. Kim looked at them and they looked at her. Deja and my mom hadn't spoken since the day they fought. Lawrence knew all about my mom from what I had told him.

"Just come on Jas, we have to go" Deja said as she looked at our mom once more before grabbing my hand.

"Jas, Dej.. just give me a chance I need to talk to you two.." my mom pleaded. I paused and before I could speak, Deja did.

"There's nothing to talk about. Leave and don't show your face around us anymore, we'd greatly appreciate it" Deja whispered to her before we walked out of the church. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to show up at Faith's funeral. I began to have flashbacks of the last time I had saw my mother but quickly pushed the thoughts out of my mind as we made our way to the burial site. I stayed strong during the entire funeral, but once we made it to the burial site and they lowered her into the ground I broke down. Deja and my Bestfriend had to hold me up to keep me from falling. I felt weak, nauseous and lightheaded. I really was never going to see my daughter again and I couldn't wrap my mind around it.