I Know You Can't Speak

*** 11 months later ***

"I got the keyssss!" I excitedly chanted as I sent a picture to Deja. The keys belonging to my new home. Me and Faith's new home. It had been a long journey. Of looking at place after place, not liking how something looked in one, versus something in the other. But I had finally found it. A one bedroom apartment. On the outskirts of Philly. Listed on Craigslist, I liked what I saw. Everything was newly renovated and it came with a washer and dryer. The rent was affordable, so I didn't hesitate to call the landlord, Mike. He let me come see it the same day and I instantly fell in love.

"I want it" I told him after he had given me the tour and he happily gave me the paperwork. I had found Faith a good daycare close by and it was close to my job. It was perfect. I planned to get a bigger space once Faith was a little older but for now, this was perfect and it was ours. Taking a selfie of me and Faith inside, I sent it to Lawrence. Over the last few months, we had began to try to co-parent which seemed to work better for me than us actually being together. After what I had saw in his phone, I distanced myself completely. Only conversing with him for anything related to Faith. We drifted apart which was fine with me but, it wasn't for him. After he got the test results back that Mercedes's babies weren't his, along with a text that said she knew they weren't his all along and that she just wanted to make me miserable, he thought that everything between us would go back to normal. But I just couldn't.

"I think it's better if we just co-parent for the sake of Faith" I would constantly tell him. He didn't like that.

"What you mean for the sake of Faith? I swear I'm done with all that shìt Jas! I just want my family back!" he pleaded. It had been almost a year. Faith was almost one and I didn't give Lawrence the time of day. Him or any man for that matter. Enjoying being a mom to Faith had been the best experience I was having and was all I was concerned about. Even though she was a baby, we did everything together. I spent all my free time with her and all my money on her. She gave my life a whole new meaning and purpose.

Lawrence wasn't the dad that I imagined he'd be. He saw Faith often, but barely provided financially. Every time I asked for something for her or told him she needed something, it was always an excuse. He still didn't have a job, was still selling drugs and still, couldn't do what I asked.

"I don't know Lawrence, I need time" I told him but honestly, time just wasn't on our side anymore. He wasn't trying to hear it.

"Either we gonna be a family or I'm not doing shit for Faith" he said one day as if he was giving me an ultimatum.

"Nigga I don't give a fuck! You already don't do shit for her! Faith will be fine regardless! You're not about to guilt trip me into being with you and use my daughter as bait are you crazy?" I retorted.

"You're right Jas, I just really don't want to see you with someone else" he admitted.

"You should've thought about that before you were out here being reckless!"

"Man that shit was a year ago! When you gonna get over it? He asked.

"I'm not" I said to him hanging up. He called back.

"What Lawrence?"

"Let me come help you move and see my daughter" he suggested.

"No thanks. You can see her tomorrow once I'm settled in" I told him.

"I'm coming anyway" he said before hanging up on me.

The next day, as he promised, Lawrence popped up at my front door the next morning and began to help me load my car. We made several trips & in between one of them, my landlord came over to put some finishing touches on my apartment. While he was maneuvering around my place, I couldn't help but notice how attractive he was. Smooth chocolate skin, low cut with a fade and nice teeth. I also couldn't help but notice how he was flirting with me.

"Alright gorgeous, you're all set. Just call me if you need anything else okay?"

"Okay" I said smiling from ear to ear.

It was a different feeling. A new feeling. One that I hadn't felt in awhile. & I liked it.

"Why the fuck you smiling all hard?" Lawrence asked snapping me out of my trance.

"Ain't nobody smiling mind your business."

"You fucking with that nigga yo?" He asked me suspiciously as he watched my landlord walk to his car.

"Not yet" I thought to myself.

"No I'm not, but so what if I was?"

"Ain't no so what if you was! You not about to be having my daughter move in some place you got from some nigga you fucking with!"

"First of all, I'm not fucking with him, second of all, I can do what I want."

"Yeah whatever get homie beat the fuck up if you want to" he said in all seriousness. I changed the subject and didn't say another word about the situation but in the back of my mind all I could think about was ...

"Girl my landlord so cute and he be flirting with me" I told Aiyana the next day on the phone.

"Shit talk to him, free rent" she said as we began to laugh.

My days went by and before I knew it, it was next month and rent was due. My landlord scheduled to meet up with me to get the money and when I pulled up to the address he sent me, it was at a restaurant. I went inside and he was seated at the bar.

"Hey Jasmine" he said as he stood up and embraced me with a warm smile and a hug. His Versace Blue Jeans cologne invaded my nose and I felt myself pulling him closer as I buried my face in his chest.

"Here's my rent money" I said as I pulled a money order out of my pocket.

"Isn't this your daughter's birthday month? Keep it." He said as I looked at him in astonishment. "Use it for her birthday party.. or gift. From me. You in a rush?" He asked me as he looked at the empty seat next to the one he was sitting at. Still in shock and considering the fact that I didn't have anything to do until I had to get Faith from school, I sat down. What was supposed to be a drop off turned into a 3 hour date and from there, we were inseparable. We did everything together, talked about everything and he did everything for me and Faith. Considering the toxic situation that I had just came out of, he was like a breath of fresh air but still, I took my time.

I let him meet Faith 3 months after her first birthday and although she was only one, she clung right to him. When I told her dad that I was seeing someone, he lost his mind.

"What the fuck you mean you seeing someone?"

"I mean exactly what I said."

"Who is this nigga?" He asked me.

"None of your business"

"You and my daughter are my business yo what are you talking about! I bet it's that landlord nigga." He proclaimed. I didn't answer him.

I fucking knew it. You be having this nigga around Faith?" He asked me.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because you couldn't give me a chance but you talking to this clown ass nigga! You don't even know him foreal!" He snapped.

"Lawrence how many chances did I give you? If it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this fucked up predicament! Which means I obviously didn't know you either!" I retorted.

"Whatever Jasmine. You a dumb ass bitch. Fuck you. Since you wanna be seeing somebody, I don't want shìt to do with you!" he told me before hanging up on me. He cut all ties with me and surprisingly also Faith. He stopped coming around and calling for her but, wherever he slacked, Mike made up for it. He dropped off or picked Faith up from school for me sometimes, helped me out financially with Faith and in other ways as well. When he fell on hard times and asked to move with me, considering the fact that he was my boyfriend and I was renting from him anyways and I knew he would do the same for me, I didn't see an issue.

"Yeah you can stay here as long as you need to" I told him. I didn't know that it would wind up being the worst mistake of my life...