I Know You Can't Speak

24.

I sat looking at Lawrence sleeping with Faith on his chest, looking as peaceful as she did. Pacing back and forth, my anxiety got the best of me so I went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. I drunk the whole thing in seconds and contemplated getting another one and going to throw it in Lawrence's face when Deja came walking out of her room.

"Hey sis, what you doing up?" She asked me sleepily. I walked to the couch, not answering her and she looked at me as she saw the tears in my eyes.

"Jasmine what's wrong?" She asked me nervously. "Is Faith okay?" She asked sounding more concerned this time.

"Look at this shit" I said as I handed her his phone, watching her eyes grow wide as she watched a video of Lawrence having sex with Mercedes. He was doing all kinds of nasty stuff to and with her. Stuff that I had never even thought about partaking in. He was talking to her crazy, calling her all types of nasty names but, that's not what killed me. It wasn't him cummin' on her face that killed me. Nor was it him telling her he loved her and that her pussy was his. It wasn't his million Facebook messages with him flirting and talking to every girl he was friends with. It wasn't the fact that he had told his friend Ron that he loved me but I was boring and that Mercedes was the spark he didn't know he needed in his life and he wish he would've met her first. I also found out that he had got fired from his job for fucking Mercedes in his ambulance. But No.

"Go to the texts and calls" I told Deja. She looked at me before looking back into his phone.

"Is this..." she said as her voice trailed off. I nodded my head yeah. "When the fuck did she start that? You know what, I'm not even surprised!" She laughed as she passed me the phone back.

"I don't know. I didn't even know he did that! Let alone to her! I don't even know if I should care. I don't know how to feel" I said as I put my hands in my head.

"Well does he know that's her?" Deja asked.

"I don't know.." I answered her honestly.

"Fuck that shit, I wouldn't even care about that.. it serves her the fuck right! But what you gonna do about the other shit! He's disrespectful as fuck!" She stated with her arms folded. "Matta fact, we'll figure shit out in the morning. Try to get some rest." She told me as she walked back into her room. I laid on the couch tossing and turning, trying to get some sleep but was unsuccessful. Everything that I had just saw wouldn't stop replaying in my head. It was like the movie I had the most was somehow on repeat and for whatever reason, I couldn't stop watching. I stayed up until the sun rose thinking of everything I had saw and just when I had finally began to be able to close my eyes again, Lawrence came looking for me.

"Why you out here?" He asked curiously.

"Where's Faith?" I said completely ignoring his question.

"She's still asleep, what's wrong? I woke up and you weren't in bed with us.." He asked nervously.

"What's this?" I asked him as I pulled up the messages I had read, not being able to contain myself anymore.

"How did you get in my phone?" He asked, infuriated as he snatched it from me.

"Don't answer my question with a question!" I fumed.

"Jasmine you weren't supposed to find this out..." he told me as he leaned against the wall. And at first, I really didn't know she was your mom! I swear!" He uttered as I stared at him. "Why you even care anyways! That bitch ain't never did shit for you!"

"So at what point did you find out? And furthermore, when the fuck did you start selling drugs?! & when were you gonna tell me!" I snapped at him, bewildered. "You got fucking homemade pornos in ya phone, telling her you love her, you wish you woulda met her first! Telling ya friends I'm boring, you sending dick pics to bitches on your Facebook like Lawrence what the fuck is the matter with you!" I yelled as I charged at him. I was so mad, tears were falling down my face as I tried punching him. He blocked every hit I threw before refraining me.

"Jasmine chill!" He yelled as he pinned me against the wall.

"No, fuck you!" I said as I spit in his face. He raised his fist at me as if he was about to punch me, making me flinch but instead, he punched the wall.

"What the fuck is going on out here!? Deja said as she walked out of her room with Chance in her arms. She looked at me, then looked at Lawrence, then at the hole in the wall. "You lucky that's where ya fist landed" she said as she began to make Chance something to eat.

"You know what, you right. I deserved that" he said as he walked in the bathroom, and came back seconds later with his face dripping with water. Just then Faith began to cry and he walked towards my room to get her.

"Get the fuck out!" I snapped at him as he turned around.

"But my daughter is crying" he said ruefully as he looked at me.

"I'll get her. I don't want you here. Get the fuck out!" I snapped again as he walked to my room where I followed him. He gathered his belongings and headed towards my front door.

"I'm sorry Jas"

"Me too" I said as I slammed the door in his face..