All the Missing Pieces (UNDER REVISION)

Three

              I'm the first one home. This is a common thing in my household because between my parents, Casey and I no one has time to be home. I think Casey's at a piano lesson, and my mom and dad are still at work. I try to organize their schedule in my head. I check the clock in our kitchen as I grab a box of crackers out of a cabinet. It's 5:30 right now which means that I have an hour and a half before my shift starts. That's definitely enough time to shower and get my homework done.

            Showering takes all of five minutes, and my homework takes almost as little time, so I'm completely done with everything I need to do by 6:15. I don't need to leave for another half-an-hour, so I flop on the couch and pull out my phone. John's sent me a text. I open it; it simply contains a picture of Kermit the Frog crying on the floor next to a dildo. I text him in response:

John, what the fuck?Haha Thought youd appreciateNo, John. I do not appreciate.Anyways whats up tico?Nothing but my undying hatred for you.Wanna chat?Sure.

He then calls me. "Hey bro! It's been a hot minute. How's it hanging?"
"Why do you insist on talking like you live in the 80's?"
"Same as usual I see." I laugh into the phone, "How've you been, Johnny?"
"Eh, same ol' same ol'. It's pretty good. Lacey and I are going out for a date night tonight! Man I love her so much. It's impossible to think that somehow I ended up with a girl that's not only gorgeous, but smart too. I was asking her what she thought about our psychology professor, 'cause we have the same psychology class too, and I actually had an intelligent conversation with her about the appeals of Machiavellianism. Do you know how hard it is to find a girl that's interested in Machiavellianism?" I'm contemplating between making a gay joke, or telling him that this is the ninth time he's told me this. I decide to say, "I don't know how hard it is to find a girl." Suddenly, another voice perks up from the phone. "Yo, is that Gaylord?"
"Shut up, Harrison!" John shouts, "Hi, Harrison," I reply. John continues to go off on his roommate. John doesn't live on campus anymore; he and Harrison have an apartment just outside of the campus. Harrison doesn't actually go to NYU though, he goes to a community school nearby. He and John became friends last year only through their shared love of Black Ops 4. "Dude, you've got to stop saying that," John complains. Harrison almost always interrupts my calls with John which I've got to say is surprising as John claims he's almost never home. By now I've adapted to his frequent gay jokes. I'm pretty sure that they're all in good nature, so I just roll my eyes and say "Ah, yes. That's me, Lord of the Gays. That's my defining character trait. Not anything else." I say with as much sarcasm as possible. "Whatever." I can almost hear Harrison scowling. "Anyways," I continue, "I'm glad you're so infatuated with Lacy, even though that's the ninth time you've told me that story," John's about to defend himself, but Harrison screams, "Yo John! Where you hidin' the booze?"
"Harry, you can NOT take any more. You still owe me fifty bucks from the last one!" I snort at my brother, "You whore out booze?"
"You will too, Peyton. It's easy money mae and they don't usually ask for ID's in New York anyways, so with looks like Los Reyes you can get away with murder."
"Isn't that just because most people don't have ID's?" Instead of responding to me, he shouts, "O, vete a la mierda!" I'm not sure why he's shouting, but I'm assuming it's because Harrison found the booze. "Okay, okay, hermanos," Harrison says, pronouncing hermano like her-man-oh, "If Johnny's not gonna loan me any booze I gotta book it so that I can get to my next party."
"Harry, are you drunk?" John asks. "Prolly'. Anyways, Peyton, you should call more. Slandering your brother alone gets so boring," He says, "I'm starting to get the vibe you don't care about him."
"If you wanna come fill in for me at school, I'd gladly spend time tormenting my brother."
"Damn, Peyton. I get it I'm an uneducated heathen." Harrison laughs hysterically. "You miss out on all the fun though."
"At least I won't have to drop out of community college to grow weed," I say. "At least I'm not a twink," he replies. "At least I'm not dependent on my roommate's booze."
"At least I-"
"Shut up you you culos!" John yells, "Harrison, I'm kicking you out if you don't stop interrupting me. I'm trying to have a civilized conversation with mi hermanito."
"Awwww, Johnny boy. Peyton and I were having fun!" I snort, "Hardly."
"Fuck you guys. I'm leaving." Harrison slams the door behind him. "Love you too Harry!" My brother shouts. "Finally, we can have an actual conversation," John says, dropping his 80's surfer dude speak in duress. "How's life? How's James? You guys screwing yet?"
"Dude," I say. He laughs. "For like the 800th time I swear he's straight. He's even asking Emily to prom. We literally discussed this yesterday."
"Tsk, tsk, dude. That sucks."
"Yeah, it does, but what are you gonna do about it?" I love that John is comfortable with me talking to him about James. He acts the exact same way when I talk about James that he would if I were talking about a girl. It's a relief because, I mean really, who else would I talk to? I guess I could talk to my mom, but she'd end up teasing me the same way that all mothers do; it'd be flat out awkward with my dad and I can NOT talk to Casey about boys because that's just weird. And I can't tell any of my friends because -well, because it's not their business.
"Anyways, I'm trying to get over it, but I swear he does some insignificant thing and I fall right back down. It's infuriating. People shouldn't be allowed to do that."
"Haha, that's adorable."
"Ugh, shut up tico."
"You can block the haters, but you can't block the truth." I roll my eyes, "Psht, whatever. Tell me more about this philosophy girl. Something you haven't already told me."
"Okay, okay, get this. So, her name is Lacy."
"Yeah I know that."
"Okay, sheesh. She's studying journalism, you know like you want to? I told her about you and she's psyched to meet you. I told her you're gonna come up during the summer term and she said she'll be there because she wants to take some extra classes, so you can hang out with her I'm sure she won't mind."
"What did you tell her about me?"
"Just that you're interested in journalism and that you're liberal and that you got admitted to their summer program, you know? The basics."
"So she doesn't know."
"Jesus, Peyton, no she doesn't know that you're gay. Why are you so paranoid about it anyways?"
"I know, I know. It's a personal matter you know? It's my business, it's my thing to share. Harrison knowing is bad enough." Albeit, technically I was the one that told Harrison. "I know it's not my thing to share, I'm not a dick! I'm not gonna spill it to any of your future teachers or whatever, but I doubt they'd remember anyways." There's a brief second of silence before he goes, "What are you gonna do for prom?"
"Who, me?"
"No, Harrison!" He pauses when I don't respond. "Yes, you."
"Heh, yeah. I think I'm gonna ask Marina to go, and we'll go as a group with Emily and James."
"That's a good idea. I bet you'll have some fun at least."
"Yeah, yeah. Well, I gotta go to work. It was good talking to you."
"Yeah bro, Love you, tico." I leave the call and shove my phone into my pocket before heading to the car to get ready for work. I decide to text James because I realized that I have no idea how to ask Marina prom."

Random question:When you come over on Friday Do you want to help me make a Poster for Marina?

He texts back almost instantly:

YES!!!Awesome because I'm fresh out of ideas.I'll make you a Pinterest board.Oof.Haha, I'll show you. Pinterest is the best thing that ever happened.

As soon as I put my phone in my pocket, it starts buzzing again. I pull it out to see that I have five missed messages from Marina.

Omg, Omg. Peyton Is James for real gonna Ask Emily to Prom? ...

Uh.Yes? Aghhhh yess!!! All my dreams are coming true. Dude, Emily is so into him. She rarely shuts up about him. It's cheesy but she's so cute!! The way she talks about him and how she's always thinking about him, god it makes me sick I love it so much. I mean, I think he's a dork but,

Okay, jesus stop. You're grossing me out.

Haha. I just wanted to confirm sorry. See you later. Yeah.

            Little did she know that there was a very high chance that every thought Emily had ever had about James, I'd had too. She'd probably grill me if she found out, but I've gotten good at hiding my feelings from other people. I can lock them down in the bottom of my chest until I get home, and then I can breathe. The more people discuss how perfect Emily and James would be together, the heavier that fucking box gets. I really do try to stop. I know that in the end I'll only get hurt. If I could only get to college, then I can be open. Maybe. I think about this all the way to work. The conflict that's been building inside of me since I was in middle school. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not ashamed of being gay, but I'm just not ready for the world to know that. Anyways, where's my head at? I need to go to work!