All the Missing Pieces (UNDER REVISION)

Afterword and Acknowledgment

This book is entirely real and entirely fictitious. Entirely real, because it almost happened to me. A good friend of mine told me he was going to run away because he was scared his father wouldn't love him when he came out as gay. To this day a piece of him regrets not actually doing it, because he wanted to see what it would have been like. So here it is, here's what it would have been like. Writing this book, I put myself into the character of Peyton, though he is actually based off of another friend of mine. I'm not a guy, and I'm by no means in love with this friend, the one who tried to run, but I do love him and I would have crossed the country to prove that he's loved. There is, however, a moral to this story, instead of a possible rambling of what could have been. It is that no one should feel rejected for being themself. The head catechist of my Catholic faith formation class told me that. She and I taught it together when I was 15. I didn't want to tell my class that gay marriage is wrong because it's not, and, though at first I was scared she was going to, she instead said those words, and I think they're beautiful. No one should have to feel rejected by their own family, their own people, because of something they can't change. No one deserves to suffer that. I hope you enjoyed this book. I hope you thought it was cute and meaningful, maybe even powerful. It's not supposed to make you cry, maybe not even laugh. It's supposed to make you see the reality of the world we're creating as we go, and I hope you were able to do that.

Thank you to all of the amazing people that helped me write this novel. Timothy, you will never stop being an inspiration to me. I know that it must have been hell to be a gay teacher at a Catholic school, but you set that and your entire personal life aside to take a program with little to offer and make it something amazing. That is more dedication than any person I've ever heard of, and I thank you for it. Thank you to Jamison, also, for inspiring this story even if it's nothing like what happened to us. I hope you know that you are loved and I hope you find someone that loves you one day. Thank you to Jennifer, you were there when I needed you even if it was fifty dollars an hour. Anxiety and depression is unconquerable alone, thank you for helping me through it. Thank you to Rose and Patrick, my Marina and my Peyton, you're amazing people and you stuck by me through everything no matter how emotionally taxing. Thank you for always understanding. Thank you to Caroline for telling a bunch of Catholic seventh graders that gay marriage is okay. I needed that more than anything you could possibly understand. Thank you to Bela, the Pasek to my Paul, Ainsley literally the most amazing human I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, my dog cause he's there for me like the Friends theme song, Ashton I hope you remember me when you're famous, Lenny, for helping me find the glitter in my life, Mary, for being the rock in my life, Michael, for reminding me that we all have a lot of potential, Lauren and Michaela, for being my 'proofreaders,' and Kaitlyn, for always encouraging me to keep writing. Kaitlyn, you are my number one fan and the fact that you helped me get this far means far more than you probably know. Lastly, thank you for everyone in the LGBT community that suffers. As a pansexual in a Catholic family, I get that having people not know can be hard, but I can't imagine physically suffering for something I can't control. You guys are so inspiring to me, and so incredibly brave. Please know that you are loved and that you always have a place with me. You shouldn't have to suffer period, and definitely not alone. You are so loved and anyone that tells you that you are anything less than amazing is fucking wrong. 

Thank you if you actually read this book! I enjoyed writing it so much!