All the Missing Pieces (UNDER REVISION)

Fourteen

            The entirety of Tuesday is an absolute pain in the ass; between Jeopardy reviews, study packets, and fucking Kahoot I think I might go insane; but to add to my strife Emily is still depressed as hell and James is non existent. I only ever see him in class, and he won't say anything. He just sits there and works on his reviews in silence.
After baseball yesterday he didn't wait for me drive him home. I texted him:

Dude, where are you?
My dad picked me up. Hes gonna take me home from now on. Thanks for the help tho.
Are you sure? It's really not a problem.
I'm probably being a nuisance anyways.
No way mae
Thanks anyways. It's better off this way.
Whatever you need.

"It's better off this way?" What the hell does that mean? I haven't been able to talk to him all day to figure it out. He's avoiding all of us, which has us worried sick. I looked for him in the morning and at break, but I couldn't find him. Eventually I figured that he simply didn't want to be found, so I gave up and started worrying about baseball instead.

            Finals are tonight. I want to scream. Everyone from orchestra is crowding me at lunch, asking me if I'm ready, and if I'm excited, and if I think we'll win. Marina notices that I'm bouncing my leg up and down frantically, and puts her hand on my kneecap. "It's going to be okay." She whispers. I want so desperately to believe her. Emily is sitting across from me working on her AP Chem review. She keeps scratching her head and erasing the same question over and over again. Collectively, we are quite possibly the biggest catastrophe in all of humanity.

            State Finals: They're kind of a big deal. Like "Oh look, Peyton Reyes is getting a scholarship to NYU" kind of big deal. There are scouts here looking for young athletes that are dying to play ball in college, and anxious fans from our high school crowding the bleachers. The only one of my friends I can manage to find is Marina, who's holding a giant poster that says "GO BUCKS!" In giant red letters with "I <3 #23" Written below it in sharpie. I pull my phone out of my bag and text her:

"Where are Emily and James?"
"Well, Emily's feeling sick. AKA heartbroken. I haven't seen James in like 24 hours though so I have no clue."
"I figured. Jesus."
"You're worried about him aren't you?"
"No shit."
"I feel like its something I did, and I know it isn't, but I can't shake the feeling."
"Why would it be your fault? Don't blame yourself. Just play ball :)"

            I guess she's right. It's not my fault. Right? Right? The most I could do was take it out on the West County Eagles (who are so uncreative by the way, their mascot looked exactly the same as the Philadelphia Eagles' mascot.) After everyone warms up, Sean pulls the team into a huddle. "Alright boys, this is the seniors' last game, can I get a yeah?" All of the seniors make this super obnoxious "Heyeahhhhh" noise that sounds like it came straight out of a Cardi B song. "This is my last speech as team captain, and my last game at PCCS, so lets make it count. Are we gonna win tonight?"
"Yeah!" We all scream. "I said, are we gonna pull this W?"
"YEAHHHH."
"PC!"
"CS!"
"PC!"
"CS!"
"Can you stop the red machine?"
"Hell no!"
"Can you stop the red machine?"
"Hell no!"
"1, 2, 3,"
"GO BUCKS!" We scream, and our half of the bleachers go nuts. Pretty much the entire school is here. CPCS isn't a big football school by any standards. Baseball and lacrosse are our only two big sports, but lacrosse season ended in February so this is the last big game of the year. Whenever we make states, it's customary for everyone to travel and support the team. They all "red out" with red tutus and red wigs and red capes and red hair spray. It's insane and obnoxious and it feels like a home. "Reyes! You're starting!" Coach shouts. We're the home team for the game, so that means I'm throwing the first pitch of the whole game. I swallow hard and jog out to the pitcher's mound, the crowd cheering me on. Their starting batter steps up to home plate, receiving an equal amount of applause. I pick a ball off of the ground and take in a breath, staring him down with all the anger and confusion in my head right now. I inhale, and wind my arm back. You got this. I drill the ball forward.