All the Missing Pieces (UNDER REVISION)

Epilogue

𝒥𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓈

              I can't remember the last time I felt this nervous. Peyton puts a hand on my shoulder. "James," He says with a reassuring smile across his sun-kissed skin. "Yeah." I respond, my voice breaking. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"No," I say reaching for his free hand, and squeezing it, "I want to." I walk up the front steps of my house, holding Peyton's hand like if I let go I'll plummet from a cliff, in an attempt to prevent myself from shaking. I knock on the door, or at least I think I do. I can barely hear the sound of the knock over my own mind. As the door opens, all time stops. The world is ending. I close my eyes and take in a breath, and then I look up to meet the eyes of my father. "James?" He says. Almost instantly he starts crying. "Hi dad." I say. "Oh my God it's really you." He throws his arms around me and starts to weep like a child. My shaking stops almost instantly, but the butterflies remain. Peyton's smirking at me. He looks genuinely happy to see my dad and I together. "I swear to God, son, I have done everythin', I mean everythin' I possibly can to get myself together. I know it's only been a month and a half, but I haven't had a single drink. Not a single one. I started cleanin' up 'round here. Oh! Come in! Come in!" Peyton and I shuffle through the door behind my dad. I almost start to cry. He has some of my paintings up on the wall, and a picture of the two of us and my mom, and somehow even a prom picture. "That' one's courtesy of me." Peyton says, noticing that I'm looking at it. "Wait, have you?"
"This one here's been comin' 'round every weekend to help me pick up." My dad says. "Wait, Peyton, really?"
"Mhm." My heart is gushing in my chest, God I love him so much. "But son, I'm so happy that your willin' to give me a chance. I promise I've changed. I promise I promise I promise." He hugs me again, the way he used to when I was really little and had a nightmare.

                 My dad's made lunch, and amazingly enough he's actually put something together. He and my mom used to split meal making, I remember that distinctly for some odd reason. He'd do the grilling or the cooking while my mom would do the side dishes. He's made homemade hamburgers, for Peyton and I. The fridge is just as neat as I usually keep it, except there's not a single bottle of beer or wine to be seen. As I get condiments out of the fridge, I see him fist bump Peyton. "Okay, so aside from conspiring behind my back, what else have you been up to?" I ask Peyton, kissing him on the cheek. "Nothing. I just wanted to make this perfect for you, James."
"He's been working really hard." My dad pipes in. I smile, "I love you." I say. "I know." He laughs. "Let me tell you, James. This one is a keeper." My dad says, chuckling along with Peyton. "This wouldn't even be possible without this one here." I guess it's good to know that my dad approves of my relationship?

              Eventually, Peyton leaves. "I'll bring your bags over tomorrow," He says, "I hope you can make it that long without."
"Yeah." I say. I know he's not joking, because in the month and a half I'd lived with the Reyes' he'd probably seen me paint or draw every single day. He'd sit there patiently, and just stare at me while I drew. "What?" I had asked. "Nothing," He'd said, "You're just really beautiful." I can't remember what I said after, but it was probably along the lines of "Shut up." Peyton's family is amazing. I think I just need to say that. His mom and his dad were nothing but kind to me while I stayed. They treated me like I was their own child. Emily and Marina came over all the time, and we'd do cool high schooler things like go bowling, or go to the mall, or play laser tag. Every time, Peyton would hold my hand. He wasn't ashamed in the slightest to be my my boyfriend and I doubt there is anything in the entire world that feels better than knowing that. He was pretty much out now, after posting a bunch of stuff during pride month on Instagram, and being extremely public with me, (of course, after making sure I was okay with it). We'd run into some classmates at the mall once, and the entire conversation about summer so far he left his arm around my shoulders. "Have you done anything fun this summer?" They'd asked. "Yeah! We took a road trip to Charleston as soon as school got out." Marina said. It became our cover for the whole situation. "Really? Dude, my mom would never let me do something like that." One of them had said. Peyton laughed at that. "Trust me, my parents didn't love it either," Peyton mentioned, "They changed the Netflix password and didn't give it to me until last week!" Everyone thought that was hilarious. "So, are you guys like, a thing?" They'd asked. Peyton and I would always look at each other when someone asked this. "Yeah." I said. "Aww, you're so cute!" Luckily for us, this was the usual response. At first I was kind of scared about being out with Peyton, but honestly, it feels amazing now. Every once in a while we get the look from a random bystander, but someone's disapproving gaze is hardly enough to prevent me from being in love with Peyton.

              It's just my dad and I at the table now. He looks like he's about to cry again, but he's doing his best to hold it off. "So," I say. "So," He says. "Listen, son. I don't think I can ever make up for the life you've had to live but I swear to you, I'm gonna do everything I can to make your senior year amazing." He says. I stand up and walk over to him. "Dad, I'm so proud of you," I say, hugging him tightly. "I'm proud of you too, son. I'm so proud." Finally, I start to cry. For the first time in my life, I have a family. I have a family that loves me, and friends that would do anything for me, and the most amazing boyfriend I could ever ask for. I'm surrounded by people who are supportive of me for simply being me, and it feels amazing.

For the first time, in possibly all of ever, life seemed like it might end up all right.