All the Missing Pieces (UNDER REVISION)

Fifteen

          Marina and I walk out of IHOP at 12:47 am. It's slightly breezy and rather cold, especially since my jersey is still dripping with sweat. I walk to Marina's car, linked arm and arm with her, staring at the slightly cloudy night sky and the very few stars you could see through them.

I go to bed that night tangled in my own sheets, staring at the ceiling while I try not to worry. God, I wish I could be like Marina. I realize, however, that I'm not Marina. Marina is suave and chill all of the time, and I have the anxiety of a squirrel preparing for winter. I fall asleep trying to think of Marina laughing, and the gentle night sky above the IHOP we'd just left.

But then comes Wednesday.

And then comes the rain.

            I wake up on Wednesday at 9:30 in a cold sweat. I can sleep in as long as I want since I don't have any exams this week, but I can't shake the feeling that something is totally wrong. I figure that, since I'm up, I might as well study for my English exam next week. I read through some of my essays from throughout the year and look at the comments to see if I can find consistent problems. I'm about halfway through my analysis of The Grapes of Wrath when I get a text from Marina.

"Peyton. Peyton. PEYTON! R u up??"
"Yeah. I'm just studying. Why?"
"..."

That can't be good.

"James didn't show up for his exam."
"What?"
"James. Isn't. Here."

I think I'm going to throw up.

I send James a text message immediately, though I figure Marina already has.

"Are you okay? Marina said you didn't go to your exam this morning."

He doesn't reply.

Don't. Panic. I tell myself, despite the fact that I am totally panicking. I slam my English binder closed and walk back and forth my bedroom. I knew something seemed off last night. I should have said something. Marina's voice rings through your head. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything. But oh, for the love of God I can't shake the feeling that I did.

            I carry out my day holed up in my room worrying. My dad comes into my room with a plate full of food at 5:00 that evening. "Mijo, mijo. Estás escurriendo como un ratón. Tranquilo, mijo." I look up at him and rub the dark circles under my eyes. "Gracias." He sets down the plate. "¿Algo pasé? Miras como has visto una fantasma." Wide-eyed, I respond, "Nada. Estoy estresado. Tengo unos examenes dificiles la semana siguiente." Casey pokes her head into the room. "Peyton, you look dead." I frown at her as she continues, "Dad, Can I have a friend over for dinner this weekend?"
"Ask your mother," He replies, annoyed that our conversation had been interrupted. "I already did. She said to ask you." He sighs, and mutters,
"Sure," and then stands up, patting me on the back. "Buena suerte con sus examenes, Peyton." He leaves the room with Casey. I nod and open my English binder again.

            By the time I'm done going through my English notes, it's 11:00. I'd preoccupied myself with the papers to take my mind off of James, which had kind of worked. I work through my schedule in my head. Okay, I meant to study for AP US History today too. Oh well, I guess I'll do it tomorrow. I was only going to study psych tomorrow anyways.

"Dude, are you okay?"
"James?"
"Jaaaammmessss."
"Dude. I just want a confirmation you're not dead in a ditch somewhere."
"I know where you live, I will come over there."
"Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?"

I finally get back a text at 3:11 pm, and it's quite simply:

"What"
"DUDE! ARE YOU ALIVE?"
"Whats a bueller?"
"You know. Ferris Bueller's Day Off? That's not important. WHERE ARE YOU?"
"Oh yeah. I've never seen it before."
"And we can totally watch it as soon as you tell us what the fuck is wrong?"

He doesn't respond.

"... James?"

Silence.

------

Translations:

"Mijo, mijo. Estás escurriendo como un ratón. Tranquila, mijo." > "Honey. You're running around like a mouse. Calm down."

"Algo pasé? Miras como has visto una fantasma." > "Did something happen? It looks like you've seen a ghost."

""Nada. Estoy estresado. Tengo unos examenes dificiles de AP la semana siguiente."" > I'm super stressed. I have difficult AP exams next week."

"Buena suerte con sus examenes, Peyton." > Good luck with your exams, Peyton."