All the Missing Pieces (UNDER REVISION)

Nineteen

I've been outside for an hour and a half before my phone starts ringing. I check the name.
Incoming call from Marina Gardener
I answer. "Hey Mar."
"Hey Emily! He's not dead!" She shouts. "Ha, sorry. I guess I lost track of time."
"Where are you, idiot?"
"Across the street. I wanted to look at the stars."
"God your so gay."
"Duly noted."
"All right, well come back soon. We just wanted to make sure that you weren't captured by the scary Confederate Neo-Nazi's of South Carolina."
"I swear to God, Mar, it's a thing."
"Whatever you say. See you in a few."
"Yeah." She hangs up. I look at the sky one last time, with its elegant lace of grey clouds and stars strewn as widely across its face as the dark ones that dot Emily's face. I stand up from the bench I've been sitting on and walk back across the road to the little motel. I knock the door lightly. "Who is it?" Marina asks. "Peyton." She opens the door for me. "Fancy seeing you here." She says. "Let me in, ass hat." She snickers and steps aside. "I have something to say." I say, and put my hands on my hips. "Do tell." Marina says. Emily's eating a cup of applesauce with her legs crossed daintily on the bed, but she nods up and down agreeing with Marina. "I just want to thank you guys. For being cool with, well, with me. Not everyone gets that support and," I feel my bottom eyelid become heavy with tears. "I've heard of Latino kids whose families disown them for being like me, like it's some sort of disease that will kill them all. I have people that support me and, well, and that means more to me than anything you could ever imagine." I clench and unclench my fists, managing to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. Marina and Emily both hug me at the same time. "I'd be losing the best friend I have if I couldn't overlook something that's not even a problem to keep our friendship." Marina says. Emily punches her in the shoulder. "What about me?" She pouts. "What about you?" Marina asks. "Uh. Rude!" Emily laughs. "Aw com'ere, Em. You know you're my best friend too." We stand there for a minute in this odd tangle of a group hug. "This sounds like the beginning of a bar joke," Marina says, "A plus-sized shot put champion, a black oboe player, and gay Costa Rican walk into a bar." Emily and I laugh. For once I've stopped thinking about James, and started thinking about how Lucky I am that the people I love love me unconditionally. I end up sleeping well, instead of being a nervous wreck like I initially thought.

              Marina wakes me up at 9:00 the next morning. "IT'S HOME STRETCH YOU INBRED MONKEY, LETS GO!" She shouts into my ear. "Jesus FUCKING Christ, Marina." I aggressively throw my pillow at her, which has apparently become a new thing. "We gotta get out of here in half an hour, Reyes. I mean it. We will be there by like 4:00 presumably, and I think that's good. It's supposed to start raining and I would like to be out of here before we can't see out the window, please and thank you."
"Fuck you." I say
"Love you too." She says.
Reluctantly, I pull myself out of bed and get my shit together before grabbing a granola bar and a banana from the Big Bag of Food™. "Let's get this show on the road, come on guys." Marina grabs her suitcase and runs out the door, Emily and I trailing behind. I don't know how Marina ended up being such a strong morning person, but I guess it's good at least one of is. Emily, on the other hand, looks exhausted like me. When we step outside, the clouds have already returned, and a foreshadowing haze of mist greets our weary faces. We get in the car, and Emily's back out almost instantly. Marina's humming to some random song while I'm staring at the roof of the car. I feel bored, like a toddler. I consider trying to make an "are we there yet" joke, but my desire to not be picked on by the girls overpowers. In my head, I sing 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, but nothing seems to help. Minutes pass by as fast as hours, and hours as fast as days. The rain picks up before we make it to the highway, and I'm still lying across the back seat with my arm over my face listening to it patter against the window. Emily wakes up and is chatting with Marina in the front seat about their classes next year. "So I signed up for AP Music Theory which is super exciting!" Emily says, "Obviously, I'm going into biology, but I thought an extra music course couldn't hurt."
"After hearing James talk about how fun AP Art History was, I signed up for that," Marina says, "Senior year is gonna be super chill for me. I found this in-state school that does a lot of work with foster kids, so I think I'm gonna start looking to volunteer there and get in there. Their minimum GPA is like a 3.5 which I have, obviously, but AP Art is the only AP I'm even in." I drown out my thoughts and listen to their conversation, they probably think I'm asleep so I keep up the facade and just listen. Emily wants to go to a school in North Carolina to study marine biology, Marina wants to study at a local school and work for foster care reform. Girls are such puzzles. They seem to have it all figured out. I don't know anything about my future in the slightest. In fact, I don't even know about the end of today in the slightest. My brain comes full circle again and returns to the ever-present subject that is James. For some reason I start to think about our first kiss. I've never really thought about it in detail before, but the way his eyes looked in the darkness of the kitchen is imprinted in my soul. I think about the way his face felt, smooth and warm to touch, and how his eyes looked when he wore contacts instead of glasses.I want to kiss him, and hold him, and I want to know his body like it's the back of my hand. My chest feels heavy with some sense of longing. I want him, and he's not here, and that's breaking me down slowly. I make some odd grunt, and remove my arm from across my eyes. "Sleeping Beauty awakes." Marina says. "What time is it?" I ask.
"One thirty." Emily answers. "Hang on kiddo," Marina says from the passenger seat. "We're almost there."

               By four we've made it to Charleston, with about a ten minute drive to Sam's house. The rain has all but slowed causing massive puddles of water to occasionally splash the windows like a boat in a hurricane. My heart is pounding inside my chest. One time, when I was really little, we went to Costa Rica to celebrate Easter with my parientes. My grandmother, being the adoring Jesus hippie she is, dragged us all to a stations of the cross service, and when Jesus 'died' the most obnoxious timpani I have ever heard came roaring through the church. I recall my mom having to clap a hand over my face, because for some reason I thought the timpani was hysterical. In my current state, my heart would be that very timpani, and I'm launching myself into some state of hysteria. "Drive faster!" I moan at Emily. "The speed limit is 35, I'm going 40, and it's raining."
"It's South Carolina literally nobody gives a fuck!" I complain. "Calm your titties, Reyes, we're almost there."
"Ughhhhhhhh," This would be prime time for the Peyton Pace™ in which I march back and forth until I find my way into a pantry, but unfortunately a car, being a car, has no space for my fervent heart to walk.

              We finally pull into the driveway of a quaint little house along the shore. I don't even have time to describe it more than that because I jump out of the car and sprint to the door before Emily can even put it in park. I knock, and I knock, and I keep knocking until a girl in her twenties opens the door. "Hi, are you Sam?" I ask, my hair dripping wet with water. "Sam! It's for you!" She has a latin accent, and thick wavy hair that comes down her back. Another girl comes to answer the door. "Who are you?" She asks. With a fairly judgemental glare. "Do you know James O'Connor?" I ask, not even introducing myself. Sam and the other girl, who I can only assume is Lila glance at each other. "Come in." Sam says, opening the door all the way.

                Since Emily and Marina are currently thinking with their brains and not their hearts, they fished around in the car until they could find an umbrella. I, on the other hand, am now dripping head to toe because the brief walk from the car to the front door left me soaked. Lila goes and gets a towel for me, and the rest of us gather around Sam's kitchen table. "So, I'm Sam. That's my girlfriend Lila." She says. "We're friends of James' from an art seminar we went up to Philly for. "James goes to art seminars?" Marina whispers, Emily and I both nod. Lila comes back with a towel, which I thank her for, and promptly wrap around my body. Sam's hair is back in dreadlocks over her shoulder, held in place by a bright red bandana. Her skin is darker even than Emily's and despite her initially condescending glare, her face now seems soft in the light of their house. "I'm gonna take a wild guess that you're Emily, you're Marina, and you're Peyton." Sam says, pointing to each of us accurately. We all nod in unison. "And I'm gonna take an even wilder guess that you're looking for James." Again, we all nod like bobble heads on someone's dashboard. Lila and Sam glance at each other again before Lila places her hand on top of Sam's. "He left for the train station a half an hour ago." She says tensley. "Fuck." I mutter, and stand up immediately.
"His train doesn't leave until five, It's just five blocks over and a left. You'll see it. But he has a ride to Greenville, and then he's taking a train to Boulder." It's currently 4:40, and I have already started walking to the door. "Guys, we have to go." I say. Sam looks me dead in the eye. "You love him back don't you?" She says. I nod. "You owe me so much money right now, Sammy!" Lila says. "Shut up," Sam says, "Anyways, we have space for you all to spend the night if you want though someone might end up on the couch." she says. "Thanks." I say, and I push out the door with Emily and Marina directly behind me.