White Box [under major construction]

Chapter Eight

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Chapter Eight

Dr. Anderson gave me a sweet smile, it’s the kind of smiles you’d expect some pop star to have on his face during signing events. I can just bet my female classmates would love him. Maybe if my classmates came a few days later and saw my new doctor, it’d give them a reason to continue visiting me.

“I’m guessing white isn’t your favorite color then kid?”

“Haha.” I laughed bitterly.

“Well, what is your favorite color then?” He said out of sheer curiosity. I thought about his question, I would have answered ‘any color besides white’ but I feel like it’d be an incomplete answer, I settled for what used to be my favorite color.

“Purple… Probably.”

“Like your hair clip?” I was surprised; I didn’t think he’d notice, I stopped wearing them a few days after he was assigned to be my doctor. They were initially used to keep my bangs out of my face while I was studying, now that I know I’m going to be stuck here lying in a hospital bed, I found it ridiculous to keep up. So I took them off and placed it under my pillow. I’m quite flattered that he remembered, he’s only seen them on me once.

“I’m surprised you remember… I don’t wear it anymore…” I subconsciously ran my hands through my bangs, pulling it to where it would have been if the clip had been there.

“Well, they stood out since they were so colorful; they brightened up this room, too bad you don’t wear it anymore.” Dr. Anderson explained,

“Eh… I don’t know… It just seems like a waste of time…”

“Nothing that makes you happy is a waste of time.” But how do you know it made me happy?

“I guess… But I’m pretty sure that pretending to be okay won’t make me happy.” With this Dr. Anderson gave a small sigh,

“Sometimes pretending can make you happy… Even if it’s just for a little while.”

“But that’s not being happy. That’s just escaping reality.”

“Aha, you’re right, but every person needs a little cheap escapism from time to time, just so they could forget all their problems.” He looks at me with a sheepish smile, “Sorry, you probably know that more than anyone else…” Dr. Anderson looked worried, like he was afraid he had offended me and that I’m just going to kick him out of the room again. But I wasn’t going to. I’m too tired.

Like the purple hair clip, being angry is a waste of time. Why should I waste my time dealing with these pointless emotions when I know that once the three weeks are up, these emotions will just be gone, they’ll simply die along with me.  

“No… You’re right, life’s just really hard sometimes and I often wonder, what’s the purpose of it all?” He smiled sadly out the window,

“I don’t know kid… I don’t know…” We sat in silence after that, slowly finishing our lunches. After Dr. Anderson had left the room, I grabbed the hair clip out from under my pillow and clipped it to my bangs.

The smile that he gives me when he sees this later that day… It made my heart flutter. 

~*~

sorry this is super short. i wanted to end the chapter with that phrase so yeah. it just didn't feel right continuing after that :3 

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