White Box [under major construction]

Chapter Fifteen

playlist for this book in the external link. click it :3

Chapter Fifteen

When I die, I began to write. Give the following items to the following people. Ugh, I hate the way I sound but I have a feeling these wills should be written at least semi-professionally. But it’s not like I’m writing this as a legal document, it’s just here to help me cope I guess. I’d like to give my personal belongs to Kate… Oh, I don’t know her last name. Nor did I have any personal belongings, maybe except for my hair clip. What else do you even write in a will? I crumbled the paper I was writing on and threw it into the trash bin, and then I grabbed the manga my mom had brought with her yesterday.

“Morning kid! What are you reading?” Dr. Anderson peeked through the curtains just as I began reading.

“A comic…” I answered,

“What’s it about?” He continued to pry.

“What’s it to you?” I replied.

“I’m allowed to show interest in the things my patients are doing, aren’t I?”

“No. I think you should be doing your job, which is to take care, not butt in on the things they do.” I retorted. Tempted to stick my tongue out but decided against it.

“Haha, well you’re not getting rid of me that easily.” He said in a sing-a-song tone.

“Well, I can’t concentrate on reading now because of you.” I sent him a small glare.

“Ah, how cruel. I was just trying to make conversation.” He replied with a hand over his heart, dramatically grabbing the corner of my bed, faking death.

“Well, don’t. Besides, I don’t think you’re actually interested in this.”

“Oh but I am, if I say I’m interested, I really am. I don’t tell lies, you know.” I took in what he said and reluctantly closed the book.

“…Cross you heart.” I began,

“And hope to die, blah, blah, blah.” He finished.

“… Promise you won’t laugh?” I asked him skeptically.

“C’mon kid, I’m not some playground bully. Give me some credit, geez, I am a doctor.”

“Albeit not a very good one.” I coughed out, hoping to distract him and move on to another topic.

“How harsh, I’m trying my best here. Now about the comic…”

“Alright, alright, it… It’s a… It’s a…a…” I flushed, my face turning a light shade of pink. It’s been a while since I’ve experience this emotion, every day was a cycle of anger, sadness, and impassivity. However, this time, showing him what I’m reading, it gave me a feeling of embarrassment. He always calls me kid, so if finds out that I read this kind of stuff…

“Hey? What’s wrong, now you’re making me even more curious!” Dr. Anderson’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Don’t tease me, fine, fine, I’ll show you.” I thrust the book into his chest, trying to avoid his direct line of sight.

I’ve read this manga at least 10 times in the last week. Everytime my parents visit, they’d leave a box full of books, mangas, and CD, anything to keep me occupied as well as satisfied. To ensure that my last moments are spend happy. However, now that I have this much time on my hands, I get through these distractions quite quickly.

I was never a ‘stay indoors and read’ kind of girl, I was always outside, I loved the nature and the feeling of the sun shining on me. Now, my tanned skin is pale as snow, blending in with my blanket. I’m melting into my pajamas… Melting like snow. Where do I end? And where does the hospital begin? Why do I feel so trapped? Maybe I am. I’m trapped in this white box.

I’m reading to keep my mind off the negative thoughts, the ‘why is this happening to me’, ‘what have I done to deserve this?’ kind of thoughts. Because at least when I’m reading, I feel like I can escape, escape this white coffin and into someone else’s reality. This particular comic however, that Dr. Anderson caught me reading, is my favorite. The reason behind that is a bit shameful though…

“Hey, this story seems pretty cute, even though it’s between two guys… It is a love story right?” He held the book out, my cue to snatch it back.

“Y-yes, of course it is! That much is obvious, can’t you tell from the cover?”

“I’m surprised! I didn’t think you’d be into that kind of story. I feel like I learned something new today!” I think he’s teasing me. When he isn’t making fun of himself, he’s doing it to me—gently of course—an attempt to make me smile. However, this is a bit of a sensitive topic for me. It’s not that weird to like BL… Is it? I mean, I’m a girl so it’s not that strange… I don’t want to be made fun of for liking something as normal as that!

“A… Ahhh, a-and why are you surprised exactly…!?” I asked shakily.

“Well… I’m not sure, I just didn’t think you were the type to be interested in anything that has to do with ‘love’ or even boys.” Dr. Anderson let out a small laugh following his explanation.

“I… Idiot! Of course I am… Even if it’s just a little bit.” I blushed and in my moment of panic, I dropped my book.

“Well- hey… Wait a minute.” Oh no, it looks like he realized. Dr. Anderson held up the book and pointed to the back cover,

“Doesn’t this guy look a little like me…? And… This is a love story between a student and the school doctor…” He said as he read the summary of the story above the character.

“Ahh…” My face feels so warm, I can’t do it… I can’t tell him the reason I like this manga so much is because the doctor in it looks like him… I rolled my eyes and faked a look of disinterest.

“Hmp, it’s just a coincidence. To be completely honest, I’m actually a little annoyed that the guy looks like you.” He laughs at this,

“My, my, what a sharp tongue you have.” I stuck my tongue out at him,

“Why? Did you wish I was interested in you that way? You old pervert.” I’m still talking in a cold tone, but deep down, I’m somewhat interested… What if he…

“Huh? What of course not. That’d be pretty awkward, wouldn’t it? Besides, a young girl like you wouldn’t be interested in some old man like me.” He brushed my comment aside and tried to appear unaffected, but his cheeks look a little too pink… “Anyway, let’s get your blood pressure out of the way.” He was talking in a professional manner yet again, passing back to me my manga without a second glace.

I suppose… I went a little too far. 

~*~

BL means boys love. incase you didn't get that. she was reading a boyxboy manga. yeah. manga is a japanese comic. idk about the will thing. i had to include it since it was in the prompt but I initially wanted this chapter to be just the will but it failed badly (thus the no update yesterday). as you can see... my will writing ability is close to none ._.

votes and comments if you like BL~ votes and comments even if you dont~

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