My Pain

Heartbreak

Heartbreak. It comes too often. Then fades easily. But never completely. You remember the pain when it happens again. But the pain never comes back the same. It collects over time. Pulling me into a since of security that fails against things real. And real happens often. But not with them. The person who you fall for and keep falling for. You can't tell them how much you love them because you can't describe it.

Love.

It's a curse. More like a spell. It is fun and happy. Until pain rings in your ears and won't leave until you basicly rip your ears off your own head. Just to get one good night's sleep.

Different people handle love in different ways much like how parents show love by saying 'No'. It hurts when you really want something that isn't good for you and you ask but they so 'No'. In your head, you understand but your body betrays you. Tears roll down. There is no control.

For some, love is affection. Like me. Either you fall because someone shows you all the affection you need. Or you show love by affection. Cuddling and hugging could be all you need. It hurts when you start losing the affection. You feel abandon. Something inside is longing for someone. Either you look for someone else or pick a fight with your lover or even ask for love. But you ask of a lot, you become annoying and end up alone.

Others express love by arguing. It may sound bad but it's worse than it sounds. This is the type of expression that people say they don't have, but have it the most. It's either the type of love when you beat your partner (mentally and/or physically) and blame them for your issues. They could have nothing to do with it and you still blame them. People may say that it isn't love but I can tell you that it is. I haven't been in one but it was in front of me all my life. One day they could be walking next to each other and acting lovey dovey. But the same night, you can hear yelling from your room. And you know it's them from the voices. Then the sounds of sirens come. The neibors must have called the police, again.

The other way is worse than that. It's when you get beat and beat until you start believing every word they say. And you just take the abuse. In my opinion, it is the worst of all because one day you get tired of all the danger and call the police. They take your partner away. You start missing them from the second you see them leaving. Tears start rolling down your face, for what seems like the millionth time that night. People tell you to leave them, but your too far down to lift yourself up.

Love.

It's a spell everyone is put under one point in your life. No matter if your a boy, girl, trans, black, white, yellow, purple. You still feel that pain of love.