Blood flows over my skin
As the familiar sting of the blade
Sends a burning sensation up my side.
The wave of pain is calming.
I forget everything else,
Except that pain.
But no tears flow.
They don't even water.
Growling in frustration I dig deeper,
Carving thick lines into flesh.
Nothing happens though.
I throw the blood covered metal at the ground,
Getting impatient.
It all hits me,
Like a ton of bricks.
My life,
My pain.
With a shaky hand I
Fumble for the blade,
Rinsing it off.
The sharp edge pokes at my skin,
Though not enough to break the delicate surface.
I grit my teeth and press harder,
Trying again.
And failing again.
Stuck in the never ending process.
Trying to feel something.
Trying to make the tears flow down.
Trying to feel human again.
But they don't come.
They never do.
I doubt they ever will again.
