Thorns And Roses

Kabanata 19

Kabanata 19

"HI, Dra..." I said softly.

"Oh, good morning, Zid! How are you?" aniya. I smiled and nodded.

"Kinda good..." I answered. Sumandal ako sa swivel ko at pinaglaruan ang fountain pen ko.

"Still having nightmares?"

"Yup..." I answered comfortably. "Always, still the same dream for years."

"Are you doing what I've told you?"

"Yes, I keep on thinking about positive things but it always slipped. Kapag nasa trabaho ako nawawala ako sa sarili, I always gets serious and annoyed," sagot ko sa kanya.

"It's getting more and more serious..."

"Dra., my hand started shaking again last time, when I heard a gunshot," pagke-kwento ko sa kanya.

"Then, what did you do?"

I suddenly remembered Thorn and what he did pero hindi ko ito sinabi kay Dra.

"I tried to stay calm but it wasn't working, my ear started ringing, tapos nanlalabo ang paningin ko. I easily gets paranoid and scared," sabi ko.

"I wanted to talk to you in person now, Zid but I'm in States right now..." she said sadly.

I sighed. Hinawi ko ang buhok ko at tumango nang kaunti.

"Too bad, I really want to talk to you so bad," mahinang sabi ko, walang gana.

"I'll be back soon, Zid," ani Doctora. "Anyway, the results for your recent tests are in the hospital."

"Can I get it?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Of course, nasa kasama ko iyon. May pamangkin ako na naroon ngayon, he's a psychiatrist..." aniya. "Iniiwan ko lang nang umalis ako para sakaling gusto mong makita ay madali lang."

"Thank you..." I breathed.

"If you're curious about the results, pwede mo namang ipabasa sa doktor doon," aniya.

"Okay," sagot ko. "You'll be back soon, right?"

"Yes, Zid," aniya. "But remember to take good care of your mental health, okay? If possible, stay with your family more often dahil mas komportable at masaya ka kapag kasama sila."

"I will try, Dra," sagot ko.

"Okay, Zid. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"See you..." paalam ko at nang mawala na siya sa kabilang linya ay inilapag ko ang telepono ko. Minasahe ko ang sentido at huminga nang malalim.

Relax, Zid. You're back at it again.

Sumimsim ako ng kape at napatingin sa orasan, ala-una na nang hapon kaya tumayo ako mula sa sa swivel ko. I walked towards the door at mukhang nagulat ang secretary ko sa biglang paglabas ko.

"Ma'am!" aniya at napatayo.

"Cancel all my appointments for today," sabi ko sa kanya.

"But Ma'am, may ka-meeting po—"

"Sino bang boss mo?" I spat out.

"P-po?" nagulat siya. "K-kayo po..."

"Then do your job, cancel it," sagot ko at iniwan siya roon bago dumiretso sa elevator.

On my way to the hospital ay nakatitig lang ako sa daan. I was too preoccupied, I'm nervous about my results for this examination we had.

May development naman ako kahit kaunti dati pero ganoon pa rin ang diagnosis sa akin. Would it make any difference now?