Never Going To Be Right {taekook/vkook au}

Chapter 21

(A/n yo yo yo people need a quick input on something that effects how the rest of the story plays out basically. would anyone be genuinely upset or stop reading this book if I started including more Yoonmin in this, along with Vkook? Also like comment if you'd be okay with ig bc I kinda need to know before I can update the next chapter lol. Thx! )

Jimin's POV

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I remembered one time Namjoon had told me that I couldn't protect everyone from the sadness of the world, that I couldn't always be the happiness in the room, that one day I would need someone to be protect me from my sadness and for someone to be the happiness in the room to cheer me up. I didn't believe him at the time not really thinking anything that was bad enough that it would cause me to not be able to smile through would ever happen. As I leaned against the wall trying to collect myself, trying to block out all of my emotions and put on a smile again, I thought about what Namjoon had said such long while go. With everything like it was right now, who was supposed to be that person that could create happiness for me or protect me from everything sad? I had never had to think about that until now. Until everything began to slowly unravel in front of my eyes and all I could do was grasp helplessly at the falling pieces. It's not like I had someone to go to to help me with this either or to help stop me from breaking silently. The person that I would usually go to for letting out my pent up emotions was upset at me for not telling him anything and my best friends were both having troubles that I should be helping right now, instead of pitying myself out in a hallway all by myself.

I sighed heavily trying to get rid of my emotions, store them away for another time, pushing my own thoughts and needs to the far corner of my mind where they couldn't and wouldn't bother me for awhile. I was so used to this action by now, the pushing my mind to not care about what I needed or wanted right now, to focus instead on what everyone else needed. I had gotten pretty good at it too, being able to go for a long time without releasing my emotions and only ever doing so when I was alone or with Yoongi and maybe Jungkook or Taehyung if I really needed to get something off my chest.

Finally I reopened my eyes, letting them adjust to the dim lights in the hallway before taking one more big sigh and reaching for the door handle. I could feel the harsh cold of the silver door knob against my hand. I heard the creak of the door as I entered, keeping my eyes to the ground in case they were having a moment they didn't want me to see. I snapped the door shut behind me, leaning against the frame once it was closed,  feeling the wooden frame press hard into my back between my shoulder blades. I heard some shuffling come from the side of one of the beds and decided it was probably okay if I looked up know since they definitely knew that I was in here by now. I waited for something to be said to break the tense silence in the room not having the energy to speak anymore than I already had today, yet knowing I would have to eventually.

Once I looked up I let my eyes rest on the two sitting next to each, very closely I may add, on the side of one of the beds, making me wonder what had happened in the time during which I was being interrogated that made them move from the bed to the floor. I met Jungkook's worried gaze that was looking me up and down seeming to scan my whole self to see what state I was in. I tried putting on a smile for him, to show that I was fine, that he didn't need to worry about me just himself right now, but it didn't seem to work as I watched him slowly get up off the ground next to Taehyung and make his way slowly to where I was standing. He seemed like he didn't quite know what to do, taking cautious steps towards me as if he didn't want to hurt me by running up to me or anything.

I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on keeping the smile on my face although I could tell my efforts were useless when I felt Jungkook lay his hand on my arm just as cautiously as he was being earlier. I let the rest of the effort I had put into my appearance drop, not having the energy to hold it up anymore, the weight of everything right now finally coming to rest on my shoulders and realizing just how heavy this weight was.