THE KAMIKAZE SOCIETY

Chapter One

I decided as one of my last summers before the last year of school I would detox. Take a break from the small English village buzz of Burley and spend my summer in the South of France. It wasn't that I didn't like Burley, but it was that buzz and the idea of everyone knowing everything that made me need a break, also from social media, also from my mum and dad and also from my friends. As much as I loved them all, my second to last year of school was rough. Lets just say I got into some bad stuff, I quit the running team, I had put on weight, I was drinking almost every weekend with not just my friends but with strangers, half the time I didn't even know what I was doing or where I was. 

The majority of the time my family and friends didn't even know where I was. At the beginning my friends, the gang covered for me all the time and most importantly never asked, that was the power of our friendship. But when I started spiralling and when I quit the running team they knew something wasn't right. They knew it was bad when I started arguing with my parents, I never argue with my parents. They knew it was bad when Jett went to the rest of the gang and confided in them about my behaviour and that I hadn't spoken to him in weeks. By this time it was a few weeks till the end of the school and me, my family and friends had an intervention about everything, it was really embarrassing if I'm honest but I was glad for it, I only told them half the truth they didn't need to know the rest, I could deal with that myself. I felt like I didn't know who I was or the purpose of anything. For a 16 year old I understood how deep this all was but things were getting worse and I decided I needed a change. 

My brother has a chalet out in the South of France with he's wife and my nephew. He is much older than me, but he has managed to establish an amazing life for himself. He fell in love with he's wife at 17, she got pregnant at 18, her grandad died at 19 and she inherited a chalet in the South of France, by 20 they were living there with their child, running 2 successful business's and living a quite and normal boring life. As long as they were happy thats all that mattered, but I couldn't do what they were doing I would much rather live in the city with all the hustle and bustle but the boring countryside and boring village would do that for you.

I had originally planned to visit them for 2 weeks with my parents at the end of July, but after long and thoughtful thinking, I asked if I could stay for the whole summer 6 weeks in total in the South of France. My brother gave it the ok as long as I pulled my weight and didn't cause any trouble, I was happy to oblige. I cut off all contact with England, leaving my phone at home and saying goodbye to friends, deciding to send post cards and letters as a form of contact, obviously I didn't want to miss out on any gossip of the small town buzz. For a 16 year old this was pretty hard too do and the first few weeks were awful let me tell you, but it was the best detox I could of done for my self. 

I not only mentally cleaned my mind and body, but I also physically changed. As cliché as it sounds over the summer I got hot, I thought this only happened in movies or books where you get all hot over the summer, but spending the time with myself I did get hot. Before the summer I ended up getting my braces off, and after the year of stopping running and drinking alcohol I got chubby it was bad and my skin was awful I hadn't looked after my self. But during the summer I got myself in check, swimming in the pool or at the beach or going for runs, and looking after my skin and body, I had this new found confidence and I had gotten hot.

However by the end of the summer I had just about had my limit, it was quite in the South of France and I had managed to go from one village to another village to the other end of Europe, and quite frankly I felt like I was loosing my mind. I did however have an amazing summer fling, nothing too serious, I met a boy named Luke, he was half English half French visiting for a few weeks like me, we ended up hooking up and few times, no sex or anything, the nearest pharmacy in the village I was staying at was an hour away, I wasn't taking any risks. But we fooled around a bit and it was fun whilst it lasted.

I had missed the gang, especially the twins, more in particular Jett, me Jett and Jude always got on the best we were the 3 musketeers. However as we got older Jude started getting weird and mysterious and half way through us hanging out he would disappear, making me and Jett have more alone time, more alone time ultimately made me have a small crush on him, only flirting and nothing serious he had always seen me as a sister. But over the summer after my fling and my serious glow up, resulted in me realising I had a serious crush on him. But then again I have never seriously dated any guys, so for a girl going through puberty this was going to happen.

However in fairness in year nine I had a crush on Kit after we played seven minutes in heaven at a party, we ended up kissing but already at that age he was a player and we laughed about it, and decided to shrug it off as we were just friends, however ultimately a girl in her prime puberty I did not just shrug it off like he did. But within our gang no one has ever dated anyone I guess it would be too weird and would shift the whole dynamics of everything so we just decided no one would date, no dire consequences would occur if anyone dated but it would be weird. Now i know I said no one in our group would date but its nice to flirt and after my physical appearance had changed I could wait to show it off.

(For Sliver, I feel these images describe the type of look I want for her, 1st image Ella Purnell, 2nd image Lily Collins and 3rd image the character Effy from skins. I'd say a rough mixture of all the them, looks wise Ella and Lily the long brown hair and the bright hazel/brown eyes, think eyebrows high cheekbones and this almost boho kind look about them. But then the more rough side of Effy the attitude, and sarcasm and the humour. I don't intend for sliver to be boring or have major problems. My idea of her is to have spunk and attitude and she isn't perfect and she answers back to people and is always dancing and having fun. I don't want a sad portrayal  of her like a lot of female characters do in books. I want her to be political and have values and be stubborn.)