𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 ↬ kim namjoon ✓️

end

dear diary,

it's june 19, 2013. the doctor told me to take my medications today. i didn't want to. there was no cure for depression and anxiety. so what's the use? i'm going to kill myself later. i hope this will be the last and depressing entry i will ever write.

but diary, there's something or should i say, someone. i met her at the hospital. strangely enough, she didn't have a name and just told me to call her whatever i liked to call her. i didn't care about her but she cared about me. that i know for sure.

she sat next to me and decided to talk to me. i let out all of my bottled feelings and thoughts. i was comfortable with her even though she was a stranger. after talking for about two hours, i felt happy. but she disappeared.

she only appears when i am sad. but this is a secret okay? i like her.

she's so beautiful it's unreal. she's so sweet. she's my ideal type. who knows? maybe i'll ask her out or something.

wish me all the luck diary.

oh and on second thought, i wouldn't kill myself yet. she's here and she makes me happy. so let me just stay for a quick period of time.

let me enjoy happiness before i leave.

who knows? she might change my mind.

- namjoon

dear diary,

i don't know what date it is today. i lost track. but it's 2018. i just lost her. i lost my source of happiness. i lost everything.

i feel lonely again.

i will wait for her. she'll come back. she always does. she promised!

my friends say i'm crazy. i am not. she's real. what if she isn't? ah diary, i really don't know.

i am confused.

but i know one thing.

i love her so much and if she's in heaven, i'm willing to follow her.

- namjoon