[11] - A Foreign Language

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by fxckthat

by fxckthat

Zayn sits on the dock and stares into the water until the tears have gone from his eyes and he feels no emotion what so ever. He focuses on his breathing. He focuses on the way his shoulder and ribs move with each inhale. He focuses on everything but the burning anger in his stomach. The anger that he so badly wants to act upon.

It’s no stranger, this anger he’s feeling. One time when he was younger he had punched one of his foster siblings right in the face, not caring of what it would make him look like, an unstable boy who was confused and not properly raised. But that’s what he was. He was an unstable boy. He was confused. He was not properly raised. There have been so many times in Zayn’s life when he has wanted to scream and punch someone, but he has never wanted to do it as bad as he wants to right now. The only problem with this, is that Zayn hears footsteps behind him. He knows who it is. It has to be Liam. And as much as he doesn’t want to upset Liam, he literally can’t push the anger away any longer.

The anger has boiled for far too long.

“Hey, look Zayn. I’m sorry about whatever upset you. I understand how it must feel,”

Zayn stands. He feels his limbs quivering and his fingers shaking. He feels the anger in the pit of his stomach explode and then he speaks. He actually speaks to a person. Something he hasn’t done for all those years. Zayn inhales and says, “No,” Two little letters. One measly word. But it’s enough to make Liam freeze. He can’t decide whether he should be excited about this or worried. His heart is pounding in his chest and he is about to console Zayn some more. But then Zayn is screaming, “No, fuck you Liam!” Zayn is half screaming half laughing, “You have no fucking clue what it feels like don’t you dare,” He breathes, “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THIS FEELS. YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE,” Zayn walks closer towards Liam and grabs his shoulders, pushing him backwards. Liam stumbles but catches himself. “You have no fucking clue what it feels like to be thrown around for your entire life. You have no clue what it feels like to go through so much pain and loss that you literally want to kill yourself. You have no idea how it feels to have the one person, who after all these years has stuck by you, finally leave like everyone else!”

There is silence. Liam is actually really afraid, and he scurries towards the water, avoiding Zayn’s path of violence. And it finally makes sense to Liam, why Zayn had become so upset today. Zayn relied on Mrs. Layanette. She had been the only one who stuck by him through thick in thin, through all those years. And she left him, just like everyone else. Liam understands now why this is all happening, but it doesn’t make him less scared.

“You know what Liam?” Zayn asks, continuing his attack on the beautiful brown eyed boy, “I think that you are going to do the exact same thing. I think you are leading me on and being nice to me, and sticking up for me, just to let me down like everyone else. Aren’t you?”

Liam opens his mouth to say no but then Zayn is crying again.

Zayn sobs, “Fine, leave me, see what I care. I hate you anyway,” And then Zayn pushes Liam back into the pond, leaving the brown eyed boy alone in the dark to find his way to shore and walk home, wet, cold, and alone. Just like Zayn felt.

To his surprise, Zayn sleeps very well, and when he wakes up it takes him a moment to remember what happened the day prior. Regret fills every part of Zayn’s being and he wants to run to the room beside him and grab Liam and shake him and tell him that he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean any of it. But he knows he can’t do that. At least, not yet. He has to give it some time. So quietly, Zayn gets up and opens the door to his room, about to run for the bathroom but he stops, staring at the still drenched clothes Liam had worn last night. They smell terrible and they sit on the ground of the hallway.

Zayn now wants to punch himself. He hates himself. He let himself go too much. Hell, he had screamed at Liam and pushed him into the lake. Fuck. He is screwed. He’s getting sent back to the social services and he’ll probably end up in a group home with criminals or maybe a boarding school. Both sound like shit.

So Zayn tries to ignore all the thoughts running around in his mind and he hops into the shower. If he is going to be sent off he at least wants a nice shower and maybe a freshly washed set of clothes.

He gets out about thirty minutes later and wraps a towel around his waist, heading out of the steamy bathroom and towards his room. But then he hits a strong torso and he looks up, embarrassed. It’s Liam. There is a huge cut on his right temple, with stitches closing it up. Zayn’s eyes go big and he steps back. He clears his throat. This is it. He’s going to talk to Liam. Like, really talk to Liam. Not yell, not scream. Just talk.

“What happened?” Zayn asks quietly. He’s holding the towel around him even tighter now, afraid of Liam seeing anything.

“When I fell into the lake I hit my head on a rock and cut it,” Liam says simply. He doesn’t look that angry, and Zayn is surprised. He doesn’t understand why Liam is still so nice to him.

“But…” Zayn trails off, “You didn’t just fall into the lake, Liam. I... I pushed you,”

“I’m the only one who knows that,” He shrugs, “As far as my mother knows I fell,”

Zayn can’t believe it really, he shuffles out of Liam’s way and lets him get into the bathroom. Before Liam closes the door Zayn says, “I’m so sorry. I don’t deserve a foster brother like you,”

Liam doesn’t answer to Zayn’s words, he just says, “I like when you talk. You have a nice voice,”

Zayn sits in silence. His room is so quiet he feels like he is going to go crazy. Seconds turn into minutes and soon, he hears the bathroom door open. He sprints into the hallway, “Wait, Liam, you have to hate me,”

Liam laughs a little, “No, I don’t. I really don’t. Actually, I don’t think that’s possible. I can’t hate you, Zayn,” Zayn still doesn’t get it. But he stays silent. “Let’s go talk. Like, have a real conversation over my famous sandwiches, what do you say?”

Zayn nods and scurries after Liam, eager to keep him happy. Because hell, Zayn can’t believe Liam is for real. How does someone like Liam exist? Zayn pushed Liam into the lake last night and made him get stitches, all while Zayn slept like a baby.

Maybe if I hold him close enough, Zayn thinks, Maybe he’ll never be able to let me go or leave me. Maybe Liam is different.

And even though Zayn thought it, he hates himself for trusting someone again. He hates himself for even giving Liam a chance.

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Written by Anonymous43

You've all been waiting for it! Zayn finally talked, albeit late, but it was worth the wait, of course! Wasn't it?

Let's see how many comments and votes this gets :). The more we recieve, the more excited we get :) Love you all!

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