Being a Lovato was never easy

Chapter 27

Demi's POV

I'm surrounded by darkness, it's overtaking my thoughts and actions. Everything that is around me is muffled. I can no longer tell the difference between what is real and what is fake. The person I used to be is no longer inside me. It is almost as if my entire life has been a lie up until this very moment.

The only noise around me that I can make out is this high pitched beep that has been going on for what feels like forever. I can't turn the noise off, as much as I wish I could. I can't see where I'm going but I know it is the right thing. To just keep going.

With each step that I take, the more calm and relaxed I feel. A huge weight has been taken off of my shoulders. I'm free! Nobody can hurt me anymore. I just wish that Wilmer was here with me.

The reality that I have been a part of seems to have disappeared, almost like that needed to drift away before I could find out who I really am. 

The darkness is clouding and it doesn't seem as dark. 

I hear my name being called but I don't want to turn back now. Not when everything feels so right. My family aren't here to be angry with me, I can't hurt anyone who is close to me anymore, I can just be on my own. The way that it is supposed to be. 

I wonder how long I've been here. There doesn't seem to be a periodic time, not like home. Time seems to pass like the wind through my hair. It reminds me of when I could just be happy, like when we went to the beach as a family and mom wouldn't let us back into the car because we were too wet. But I guess it can't be like that anymore. No matter how much I want it to...

The person I used to be made everyone happy, I didn't hurt anyone, I was just Demi. Now everywhere I go, all I seem to do is cause pain. What good does that make me?

As calm and relaxed that I feel here, I can't help but wonder about the damage that I have done. I know that doesn't matter anymore, not where I am now anyway, but I feel lost without the ones that used to trust me.

Is this what is left of me? Maybe all of this darkness is me letting go of the past, so that I can find a way to start a new life. I could become a whole new person, nobody has to know anything about me. 

I could change my identity and never let anyone get close to me again. I could be a free spirit. Go where my heart takes me, not my brain. 

The issue with being stuck where I am right now is that I feel so tired. My muscles are aching and I want to give in. My eyes are feeling heavy and I can't go on much longer. A few more steps...