MOVING ON FROM THE DARK PAST " CEO Husband Behave Your Self"

Chapter One The breakup

I suched for my self a million of thoughts swarmed through my head. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get my head to wrap up the whole concept...."!!!! CMG!!!!! Am i okay " "Was he in his right mind??? "
Caz he did not love me anymore... Yet I'm the likable type .

I kept thinking....i paced around like a dog in love with its neighbors calf...i couldn't take this.... "Nooo No Neva" He did not just stop loving me.
I kept swarming maybe about watching a movie since it usually calms me down Or even being stung by a bee,it was the best I cud come up with .So I closed my eyes tighter, but still it didn't stop tears from escaping from my eyes.

I kept asking my self were i went wrong.. What I had done wrong?? "But how??? " I just didn't understand. All over a sudden I got these memories from our past : the love we shared kept flashing as memories of the worst night mare,like a scarily movie in that could not End,Like night time that doesn't end in case there's a murderer waiting to kill u outside your door steps. This feeling sucked.... Like a lot, to an extent that I could not breathe I was suffocating and no one was there to help me. Nobody was there to provide me with air ' it was like I had lost my muse and I was lost far away and no body could find me. I needed to be found. And the only person who could find me was no where to be found : I remembered back in the days when we were still ..... when I asked him about his feelings for me
"How do you know you love me?
" well I just know" he said
"Ten years from now will you still love me" I asked him .with a wide smile on his face '
"No" he said.... So I held my face and asked him 'NO?'then he resumed
"because I will love you more"
Hahaha I so laughed about this
But then I kept thinking ......So much for that I thought ,More tears began to roll down my cheeks following the previous escapes.

I have to draft my memories to something else. I needed a destruction of thoughts. I then thought about the times When he has to drop me before his tournaments, To the text messages we shared to reassure my paranoia,To his laugh that I was addicted to during phone calls that made my heart skip... That laugh made my world complete and probably I was not gonna hear it anytime soon.
At this point I was so full of Sobs so I sat up leaning leaning on the windshield, my body shook violently from sobs and soon I began hyphenating at the attempt to calm myself down.
I grabbed my legs tightly with my tear soaked face buried in between my knees, the bulleting my chest kept exploding every time... It felt like my heart had been pierced a hundred times nonstop. If loving hurt this much then i didn't wanna hurt anymore .Not a single more bit .What hurt most was the fact that I had him all this time and he still Neva got to know how important he is in my life, just how I felt about him. Like technically throught the whole relationship I kept telling him I liked him as a friend. Now I had realized all I needed was him no1 else. My mind got lost so fast again to the old times when me and him were giving each other company :
"I know you love me even though you don't like admitting to it" he said
"Really.... Hahhaha " I laughed it off just to change the topic but he continued and said " I got your heart that I know, and I'm not returning it since it got no return ticket" hahhaha he then gave that laugh!!!! The one that blows up my whole world to just him. "CMG,i almost admitted but duh u wrong anyways I laughed it off to nothing.
I thought to my self....... Mhmmm guess permanent mean nothing !!!! The broken promises brought my focus back to my cellphone,pulled it out of my pocket i just couldn't resist the temptation in ages swift presses of my old messages, I reread a locked text message sent a week ago. It said
"We have our whole lives planned out for just each other, A little distance distance in the beginning to get us there, we can overcome anything together... I'm sorry but I'm not giving up on you. I'm not going to say there are other people there who can hold you, Although that may be true, they will Neva love you the I love you. " But then God he did give up... So in just afew key strokes ,I unlocked the message and deleted it.

I realized that many times he texted , I ended up replying him with an 'OK ' and he never replied back. Like for God's sake what could I have done!!!!
I guess I could have texted back with another topic but damn u know girls I just didn't want to seem so desperate. So I kept faking being okay. But I always had a feeling he saw through my facade .he knew me better than anyone else. And there went the thoughts in my head again, this drove me crazy. What was I gonna do if he had found someone new. I wasn't sure if I could ever stand him love another gal,i couldn't stand the thought of him being friends with another, Caring for another ,being with another .Gosh this was karma biting my Ass,i wasn't a good person and now I had just separated with my boyfriend towards the end of final year in Junior highschool .We were broken!!! More tears rolled from my eyes.... And yet I couldn't believe .....thing is once some one falls in love, he or she just can't fall out of love so easily but if he decided he did not need me.. That was okay I was done with him too.

"There was a reason why me and Lee Ollib met, there was a reason why we fell in love ,And I'm sure it wasn't because we would be torn apart " God knows what he holds for each of us today tomorrow or the future.... So without accomplishing anything i decided to change school for my senior year. So I pushed my cellphone back into its rightful place and slid off my hood. And moved the same amount of distance I took so I got my car in the drive way and drove off.!!!!??! Who knows what lies ahead!???since the end of a relationship is the beginning of anew one and many others.

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