Antidote // Reader x Park Jimin

2) Love Itself

The dorm had always been a comfort to Jimin. After a long day of work, or lounging around, or hanging out, or more work, he would come home with a sigh of relief. No matter how exhausted, he had always found immediate relief in the atmosphere of the small and quaint apartment the boys shared together. Upon returning home, he would feel a small but definite bit of happiness. He always expected it and it never failed him.

The dorm was the place where he could just be. Be himself. Exist. No mask to wear, no act to put on. He appreciated the genuineness of it. The hiddenness of it. He could be vulnerable. He didn't usually like having to hold himself back in public and often found himself just staying as true to his actual persona as he could in public and on camera. But there were things that were hidden, that all of the members had no choice but to hide. The dorm, however, the dorm was the place where the secrets no longer had to stay secret. The veil could be lifted. He was relieved.

An honest person at heart, he had always found it hard to keep secrets, especially his own. He was surely the type that once he started becoming forming a bond with someone, would just explode with information about himself, no matter how dark and deep the "secret" seemed to be. He would open up almost immediately, almost too much, and never feared the response. Easy to trust, he would expose himself on a very personal level, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings, experiences and memories. And usually his intuition was right and the person on the other side of the conversation, on the other side of the relationship responded by opening up as well. Sometimes they'd spill out too, right away, providing Jimin with the same intensity and quantity of intimate thoughts and fears. The two would cherish that moment, and it would be a strong foundation for them to comfort each other in the future. Jimin would appreciate the immediate connection, knowing that person was bound to be someone super special to him. He also acknowledged that sometimes it would take months or years for them to open up fully. He never expected it all right away. But the sincerity of the moments was greatly appreciated regardless.

He had reached a certain level of closeness with his fellow members of Bangtan that he had never really experienced elsewhere. The bond they all shared was truly unique and unbreakable. So many years of living together. So many shared hardships, and going through them together made them bearable. He loved them all dearly, almost overwhelmingly, and couldn't possibly think of a life where he didn't have each of them and all of them together.

He had opened up to them early on. Some responded just as quickly, but others took a few years to reach the same level. The members helped him to understand himself better, as well as how differently others might respond to a situation than he would. He appreciated them very much.

He especially loved the feeling of reassurance. He would often go to his members and vent, allowing them to simply respond telling him that he'd be okay. That everything he bared inside was normal and relatable, and okay. That the way he chose to be, the way he couldn't help but be, was greatly appreciated by the people that he had come to love so much, so easily. He loved being loved, but he loved showing his love even more.

Most of all, he loved connecting with people. He loved feeling closeness. He loved feeling cared for and the feeling of caring for someone. Love was something he felt so easy, so carelessly, so overwhelming. It consumed him wholly. It was more than life. It was his life. It became a major part of him. This was partially due to his personality and way of life, but also due to forces that were at this point beyond his control.

He didn't mind it, the feeling of love. He found added comfort in it. He couldn't imagine a life without love or without the feelings associated with it. He had so wholeheartedly adopted the emotion as an essential element of a happy life. He could say that he was happy. Tired, overworked, and exhausted a lot of the time. But everything was made up for when he returned home for the night to the dorm he loved, the boys he loved, and thoughts of ARMY and all the ways they showed him he was loved.