Antidote // Reader x Park Jimin

10) Tension

Namjoon slipped out of bed early in the morning, not really having gotten that much sleep. There were so many worries in his head, so many uncertainties. He was normally good at figuring things like this out, brainstorming a perfect solution. No problem.  But with a situation as complicated as this one, he didn't quite have the brain power. He also couldn't change the circumstances that were greatly limited them.

He exited the room, careful not to wake Taehyung, who he knew had also been tossing and turning all night. He closed the door gently behind him and made his way down the corridor into the kitchen. It seemed that he was the first one awake, the dawn light peeking through the large windows of their living space.

He heated up some water and prepared a cup of tea, sipping at it slowly as he contemplated the issue at hand. As his worries started to eat at him, he decided to go and check on each of his members to make sure they were okay and hopefully sleeping soundly. His worries mostly revolved around Jimin, hoping that his condition hadn't worsened overnight. He worried that if they didn't act soon to try and resolve the issue, there might be dire consequences.

He peeked through the door to Jimin and Hoseok's room to first see Hoseok sleeping soundly. He was glad that someone was able to get some rest. He looked over to Jimin's bed to see Jimin facing his wall, his backed turned toward Namjoon's direction.

Just looking at the frail boy nagged at Namjoon's heart. The past couple of weeks had simply destroyed him. He was practically nothing. They had been struggling to get him to eat properly, but he was simply too miserable to function. This was the boys' last partial day off before practices got hectic and they boarded the plane for America. Things had to get better.

Namjoon's heart dropped when he realized that he didn't see Jimin's chest expanding, exhibiting signs of life. He rushed over to the bedside and shook him gently, eyes wide with worry.

He saw that Jimin's eyes were open and he was staring dully at the wall. He did not look good. At Namjoon's touch, he slowly rolled his eyes and head up toward the older man, the corners of his lips turning up weakly.

"Hyung," he croaked, the word sounding more like a cough than actually his voice.  Namjoon looked down at the troubled soul and returned the smile. Jimin surely needed some positivity to help him get through this. He surely didn't need the rest of his members barking down his throat constantly. They could say it was his fault all they wanted, but they all had made a choice that night. They could say that Jimin deserved the pain, but Namjoon knew that was not the case.

The rest of the members, they seemed to have control over their pain. The pain simply came as a result of choices they willingly made. It was to be as expected. It was predictable. It was manageable.

But for Jimin, it seemed to be the opposite. It was not a consequence of some other action. It did not come as expected. It was unpredictable and inconsolable. Truly, he was suffering more than any of the members could have ever imagined.

And Jimin, he truly helped them all through their struggles. He always gave what he had to give. To say he hadn't struggled up until this point was a lie. He always watched as his members felt pain, and he always did his best to reverse it. He always showed them how much they were loved. Namjoon knew that he did not deserve to be treated harshly. He did not deserve to be berated. He did not deserve any of it.

Namjoon felt like he had disappointed his members as their leader. He let things get this bad, this out of control. He didn't have enough in him to think of a proper solution. Perhaps there wasn't one.

He let them attack one another. He even took part in the fighting. He regretted it all' he felt guilty. They could try to deny it, but the members had surely helped to push Jimin into this desolate state. They needed to help him instead. They needed to be there for him just as he always was for them.  They needed to do everything that they could and give him their all.  That was what Jimin would've done for them.