Antidote // Reader x Park Jimin

5) Vexes

When the doors finally closed behind those Bangtan Boys, you felt a tinge of sadness.  You hadn't expected to have felt so open with them.  It was almost like something had taken over you, giving you the ability to overcome the fears and boundaries that typically dictated your every move.  You were honestly baffled.  

At first, it was an act, knowing you had to be polite and personable, at least as much as you could muster.  You wanted to pat yourself on the back for doing a pretty good job at that as it was something you tended to avoid.  Maybe it was the personal connection you had felt prior to the experience that drew you closer, making it easier for you just simply exist around them.  Maybe it was something far beyond your control. Whatever it was, you were happy the night had happened as it did.

Well, at least until that moment.

You knew it would come to a bittersweet end.

You had watched, your eyes locked with Jimin's as Jungkook yanked him through the door.  He wished you a sweet goodnight and the door slammed in response.  

Your feet were planted so harshly on the floor.  You hadn't wanted it to end so soon.  You were beyond tired at this point, having been awake for over twenty-four hours at that point, but you wanted them to come back.  You didn't want the fun to stop.

You had seriously forgotten what it felt like to be alive.  Work.  University.  Sleep.  That was life.  But having caught a glimpse at what it was like to be happy and laughing and excited again, you wanted another taste of it.  You just didn't know how.

You finally managed to step back and assess the damages the bar had undergone through all of the partying. A few scattered wrappers, plates still adorning the table.  Overall, not too bad. The boys had even managed to impress you with their polite table etiquette and manners.  This mess wouldn't take too long to clean. For that, you were extremely grateful.

As you began to clean up, a certain image continued to burn in your mind.  Having caught so many glimpses and prolonged gazes, Jimin's eyes were an image you just couldn't forget.  You often found yourself examining people's eyes to investigate their honesty, genuineness, and state of mind. But there was something in Jimin's stare that was so foreign to you, something that you had never experience before.  Surely no one had ever looked at you like that. And now the image was burned into your memory.  You weren't sure if that was a bad thing.

You finished cleaning up and made your way to the backroom.  Everyone was so happy and excited with how well you did.  Your boss even pulled you into a big hug, which reminded you of your father's embrace.  You smiled. It had been a long time since you thought about him endearingly, or really thought about him at all. Your boss would be the one to pull away from the hug, telling you about how proud he was and how happy he was to have you as an employee.  How happy he was to see you growing up so nicely.  You accepted the compliments, a smile shyly creeping onto your face.  He decided that you should head home, that he would cover the night shift.  You had done enough for one night. You would try to object, but he'd insist. 

On your walk back to your dorm, you thought over what Namjoon had said.  He practically urged you to bring music back into your life.  You wondered if this was because he truly had seen some sort of potential in you.  You laughed to yourself about that possibility.  You couldn't even make yourself believe it.  You had only played the piece you composed when you were a measly thirteen years old, a little bit before your life began to fall apart.  It had taken you a long time to return to a stable sort of life.  You had surely stepped far away from that composition.  But bringing it up out of nowhere, the melody just escaping your fingertips, you could feel the emotion returning to your playing.