Antidote // Reader x Park Jimin

6) Weak

Jimin didn't want to leave her, but he knew that he had already overstayed his welcome. He had pushed it too far, too fast.

He should've turned around the second he saw her crying. He should've waited for her to feel better so that she wouldn't think he was creepy or intrusive. But when she started screaming, the unwelcome string around his heart simply pulled him through the door. There were a lot of things that he should've done differently. There were also a lot of things he shouldn't have done at all.

If it was completely up to him, he still would've walked through the door in an attempt to help her, just in a different way. More cautious. It just wasn't like him to sit there silently as someone suffered. But it wasn't completely up to him, the aching in his chest pulling him, dragging him toward you.

The past week had been absolute hell for him. He couldn't do anything. His body had been in full destruction mode. He couldn't eat, his stomach turning at an almost constant rate. He couldn't sleep, his eyes glued open just thinking about you, his heart burning because you weren't there next to him.

He was somewhat thankful that after the first couple days, the pain dulled a bit. It was still almost unbearable, but it was enough to stop the writhing and screaming. Even though it became bearable, the pain still had him worried that he was permanently damaging his heart.

Taehyung kept trying to ease his pain. At first, Jimin let it happen because he truly couldn't help it, his mind clogged and blurry, overwhelmed by the pain that consumed his entire being. But once the pain became manageable, there was no way Jimin was going to let Taehyung bear the weight of it.

Taehyung had always been so selfless like that, so utterly willing to give of himself when the other members needed it. Jimin used to be that way, always giving of himself, of his love. But now, he worried that he wouldn't be able to love anyone other than Y/N, the feelings he had for her completely obliterating his psyche.

The street was quiet. Jimin looked forward, observing the flickering street light through his blurry vision. He hadn't really slept since that fateful night, only managing to get five minutes here or there when the pain knocked him out. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the air and he could just barely hear his shallow breaths.

With every step away from you, every step farther away from the bar, he felt his heart almost ripping as a consequence. Wanting nothing more than to turn back and go back, wanting so desperately just to be near you.  He gritted his teeth, fighting the urge. He knew he couldn't scare you off, or else he'd be suffering from this pain for the rest of his pathetic life. That terrified him, partly because it meant a life without you, but also partly because he wasn't sure how long his body could handle the pain before it shut down for good.

His lids were now half closed as he continued to trudge away from the bar. His mind was lost, uncertain of his location or where he was going. He figured that he was nowhere near the bus stop, although he wasn't quite sure.  His vision had become so blurry and it was too dark outside for him to read the signs.

Anxiety clung to his thoughts. He knew he shouldn't be out like this, especially in the middle of the night, in the middle of the city, aimlessly walking. He feared that something might happen to him that could be devastating. On the other hand, a fatal incident would stop the pain that was quickly overtaking him as he stepped further and further away from her. He wasn't sure if that was perhaps the most terrifying thought he was having or the most comforting.

She had asked him to come back, even after he invaded her privacy, stared at her until she was visibly uncomfortable, and ran out of there like a toddler throwing a tantrum.  She still was giving him the benefit of the doubt; she was going to let him try again. For that, he was so utterly grateful.