The Secret Struggle

Shopping With Noel

"We need to go shopping. You need new clothes. No offense, but trust me, it'll be good for you." That was the text that I woke up to from Noel. I laughed a little bit when I read it. I wasn't offended. She was probably right. I'd never cared much at all about my appearance so I just wore whatever I felt like.

Let's just say I never wore anything that would get attention from anyone. It was already strange enough that I'd run into Seth the way I did and that Noel and Marcus wouldn't think I was totally worthless like it seemed so mahy people did because I didn't dress well enough for them.

"Ok. I know you're right. Hopefully you know what to look for because I'm clueless." I responded to Noel.

I set the phone down and got back to work on trying to do my homework. I'd woken up a few hours earlier and gotten started doing the homework. It was Saturday and homework sort of seemed like a dumb thing to do, but I had nothing better to do. It was just now a little after 10. Hardly anyone else woke up that early. Plus I didn't have any friends anyways, so I definitely wasn't going to busy.

I hadn't gone to bed right away after I got home. My urge struck me too badly. Being with all of them and seeing how immoral they were being considering they were Christians turned me on really badly. I didn't know why, but Christians doing things they weren't supposed to had always done that to me. I was so horny that I went all out, even using my dildo to bring me to a final climax with felt better than any I had ever had before it. I was that turned on.

I picked up my phone to look at the message that I had just received from Noel. "Great. And you better bet I'm amazing at this. Just swing by the school and pick me up. I don't have a car so you'll have to drive. I hope you don't mind. See you at noon. Let me know if you can't do that. I need to go get ready now, after I finally drag my ass out of bed."

I giggled. I really liked Noel. She was definitely becoming a great friend. She was kind, caring, practical, and quite funny if I didn't say so myself.

I attempted to get back to my homework but I just wasn't having any luck. I was getting pretty bored out of my mind. I looked over and spotted my Kindle on my nightstand and figured it would be a nice time to take a break and do some reading. I really needed to do something a bit more exciting.

I opened up Tessa's Diary and began reading.

I sat in the church and actually paying attention to the pastor. It was a rare thing for me to do. Hell, it was a rare thing for me to go to church anymore. However, it just felt right. I'd woken up early this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided I might as well go.

I didn't hate church. I just hated how my parents made it. Actually, I just hated living with them. It was nice being off on my own and making my own damn rules. I could do whatever the hell I wanted and it felt fucking great. I could go to church Sunday morning and then go to a party or something that night and not even feel bad. I felt free.

I still loved God and believed the Bible, but I tended to take the interpretation of most of the morality stuff to being more cultural. As much as some people tried to convince me that the cultures were more similar that most like to believe, I wasn't convinced. In my opinion if it wasn't against the law, I didn't have a problem with it. According to Romans 13 the government was supposed to rule us with God's authority anyways, so it made sense to me. Of course I wasn't perfect and still broke the law at times, but let's be honest, some of those rules were made to be broken.

This was the way that I was starting to feel. I mean I certainly wouldn't do any of it outside of the confines of closed doors, or maybe in presence of a few good friends, if I ever make any, but certainly not in public, at least not for a long while.