All I want is a family like everyone else I see. And I won't understand it if it's not meant to be. Cause I would die for that, just to have one chance to hold in my hands all that they have. I would die for that.
She sits on the sofa watching as everyone fusses over the kids; Alena, Valentina and Lily are playing with Kevin and Joe whilst Danielle and Sophie compare bump sizes and pregnancy stories. She can feel her heart beginning to pound and tears fill her eyes as she stares down at the floor. Standing up she quickly makes her way through to the kitchen where she finds Denise standing making dinner.
'Hi, sweetheart... Everything okay?' Denise asks glancing over her shoulder at Demi who bite her bottom lip and nods her head.
'No, you're not. What's going on, Demi? You and Nick just haven't been yourselves since you got here on Friday. Have you guys had an argument?' Denise asks turning to face Demi.
'No, we're good.' Demi replies quietly as she leans against the wall.
'What's going on then? Are you struggling with stuff?' Denise asks.
'Nick and I, we've- We want a family. We've been trying for a baby for what feels like forever now. I just- I'm so happy for Dani, Kevin, Joe and Sophie but it just hurts sometimes and I know that makes me sound like a total bitch but I can't help it.' Demi admits shaking her head as the tears begin to stream down her cheeks.
'Oh sweetheart... That doesn't make you sound like a bitch at all. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you both. How long have you been trying?' Denise asks wrapping her arms around her daughter-in-law.
'Just over a year, maybe fifteen months now.' Demi admits.
'Oh, love.' Denise replies.
'Every time I see someone else announce their pregnancy it feels like a bit of a stab in the heart. I would never wish this on anyone and I am so happy for them all but I just- Why can't it be me? Why can't I have a baby?' Demi mumbles as the kitchen door opens and Nick makes his way into the room.
'What are you two up to in here?' Nick asks smiling as he makes his way into the kitchen only to find his mom standing with her arms wrapped tightly around his wife.
'Demi's feeling a bit emotional, aren't you?' Denise says softly as Demi takes a deep breath and glances up at Nick.
'It's just hard.' Demi almost whispers and he nods his head. Denise loosens her arms around her and Demi instantly moves to Nick.
'I know it is, babe. I've been struggling as well; why don't we start heading home now?' He suggests kissing the top of her head.
'We can't do that.' Demi mumbles burying her head in the crook of his neck.
'Mom doesn't mind, do you?' Nick says and Denise shakes her head.
'Of course not. I'll tell everyone else that you're not feeling well. Do you think you'll be able to get a flight?' Denise asks.
'I think so.' Nick replies.
__________
'I'm sorry I ruined the weekend with your family.' Demi mumbles as she curls her body into Nick's side and rests her head on his chest.
'Don't apologise. I was feeling exactly the same way, Dems. I think we need to start looking at our options, decide if we want to keep putting ourselves through this month after month?' Nick says running his hand down Demi's back.
'You don't want to have a baby?' Demi asks quietly.
'I didn't say that. I just- This is killing us both, Demi. Each negative test breaks our hearts a little more and I think we need to decide if we want to maybe look at the IVF route or even adoption. We just need to think about this.' He replies causing her to sigh.
'IVF just seems like such a scary, invasive procedure. I just want a baby.' She admits.
'So do I. Why don't we contact a specialist next week and just sort out a consultation? We don't have to make any decisions but I think it would be good for us to just talk to someone who knows stuff about this, who can guide us in the right direction.' He says tightening his arm around her as she sighs.
'This fucking sucks, doesn't it?' She mumbles and he nods his head.
'It does but we'll get through this together. What's the worst that can happen? We end up just having each other. I don't think that's really that dreadful.' He says.
'I do love you, Nick.' She says softly.
'I love you too.' He replies.
