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hello, I'm writing this a day before my MX concert and I'm not sure when this will be released or if it will at all because I might not make it after
EDIT: I MADE IT SOMEHOW but my life was changed MY SOUL ASCENDED MY THIRD EYE OPENED HOOOOO MYGOD I LOVE 7 MEN
EDIT 2: the post concert depression has hit haha :))

Lee Minhyuk

"Is there any specific reason why you requested such an early appointment?"

"I don't know, it's easier to come at the start of the day instead of later on," I replied, clasping my hands together after a shrug. "I don't know."

"That's completely fair, Minhyuk," my therapist mused. "how are you feeling lately?"

"I guess I've been okay," He signalled for me to elaborate. "I returned to work, spent time with my brother and uh.."

"Anything else, Minhyuk?"

"I met someone."

My therapist's face softened after a few moments of digesting what I said. "Oh, that's great news. Who's the lucky lady?"

"It's a guy." I replied.

"I'm sorry for assuming," he said almost instantly. "who's the lucky guy, in that case?"

"It's one of my neighbours, but nothing is going on between the two of us, mainly because he went through a messy break up with a restraining order and whatnot," I smiled awkwardly as he took notes. "..is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just noting down your improvement," he said proudly. "before you came in here saying less than 10 words in an hour, now you're comfortable enough to tell me about someone you care about. That's fantastic progress, Minhyuk. Is this person helping, do you think?"

"They are, but they don't know. They don't know they suddenly make life worth living, or that I ever thought otherwise." I looked at my hands, fidgeting with the rings on my fingers.

"Baby steps. Don't ever feel pressured to tell him everything, all in due time."

"But what if," I leaned back on the chair. "what if they made me want to tell them everything? What if they make me want to sit with them for hours and talk about every possible topic in this world, even though the thought of conversations makes my skin crawl?"

My therapist gently closed his booklet, leaning on the desk before him. "Then I guess Lee Minhyuk is in love."

His words were etched into my brain even long after I left, my mind shutting out everything else and thinking only of the "in love" part.
To have someone explicitly tell you that you're in love was strange; it's one thing to say it yourself, but it's a whole new ordeal to have someone point it out - it means you're letting it show. And strangely, I wasn't completely against showing that I loved Jooheon.

Following my parent's visit, I slipped into a strange emotionally-based sunken place of my own, shutting most people from my life for a few days until this morning. Kihyun understood - he dealt with it for years and just left me to do my thing, my partner, Hyunwoo, also understood, speaking even less than he already did. But as for Jooheon, all I could do was avoid his calls and texts and pray we didn't see each other on the stairs for a few days.

Somehow today wasn't one of those days. As I reached our block, I noticed a taxi with the boot open, the driver coming down the stairs with a huge box. Further up, at the top floor, I saw Jooheon, surrounded by countless bags, boxes and suitcases. Before I could even stop myself I had already set up the steps, taking two at a time until I was close enough for him to notice me.