Fading Magic (Book 5 of the Ink Series)

Puke

I stand at the end of the table holding my drink in my hand and sigh. I don't know if I can do this, if I can say what I am thinking or if I might explode from all the tensions buzzing around the room.

They all think I'm trashed and coming unglued.

"To friends, the ones who fuck you over time and time again!" I ignore Karsen's glare as I swallow down the bitter taste of defeat and agony.

I need another, because this place pains me. The whole god damn place reminds me I am destroying myself little by little, that things are horrible and real and I can't run away from them now.

This is Georgia.

I can't believe I ever loved this place because as I look around at the trees and the familiar faces I don't know what I hate more.

Or maybe I am drunk and being way too over dramatic.

Slade keeps me from tripping over my own feet as I attempt to climb up on the bar. I want to thrash. I want to shake all the stress and disappointment out of me or so help me I might do god knows what.

I shake his hand free from my arm and make it halfway before knocking over a bunch of drinks and a bowl of peanuts.

Everyone is telling me to get down because I am making a scene. But whipping my hair back and forth feels so much better than acting like some civilized human being.

"Hope!" Karsen yells at me. She's an overbearing mother when she wants to be. I never said anything about her flashing her boobs all over Cherry. I let her nipples enjoy the wind and sucked it up for her sake.

"I am going to kick your ass if you don't get down right now." Slade tells me, steadying himself on one of the many barstools. He tries to grab me but I make a mad dash for the other end of the bar.

I giggle and rejoice, for once I am the winner of our power struggle and fall face first onto the bar floor. I don't like their eyes on me. And I think I might have broken something on the way down.

Like I said, this is Georgia.

***

I'm not sure if they know I can hear them talking about me as they carry me out to the car but I can. And I know Karsen is worried about me and I know Slade is bordering on annoyed. But I don't care and I keep telling myself when I wake up I won't care either.

Slade sets me into the backseat of Karsen's car and explains to everyone this is a temporary thing, that I am not losing it. If I could open my eyes and speak I would tell them all to fuck off because they don't get it.

I roll over curling into a ball on the back seat. I can smell Karsen's perfume. I am pretty sure my face is smashed against her thigh. Every bump her car rolls over makes me sicker and sicker. I am so close to puking and I don't have the energy to get up and do anything about it.

Karsen screams. "She's throwing up!"

The car brakes and I slip from my resting spot on the back seat onto the floor on top of a pile of laundry and old pop cans she is too lazy to throw away.

I can feel the cool air on my legs and I might have lost a shoe on the way out of the bar. I open my eyes when they pull me out of the car again and drop to my knees.

Kidd rubs my back while I throw up everything in my stomach. His homecoming was perfect, he put Karsen back together again.

Now I am crying.

"What's wrong?" Slade asks.

"Why can't anybody put me back together?" I sob pushing a hand through my hair and then I fall over, sprawling out right there on the stones and dirt.

"If you let me get you home I promise I will try my best," he says.

I keep right on crying, and let him lift me up, carrying me in his arms like some savior. If only he could save me.

I'm afraid I am falling apart. "You promise you will fix me?" I press my face against his shoulder and wipe the snot from my nose.

"You're not broken," Slade informs me. "You're drunk."

He hushes me when I try to object to such a statement.

The car starts moving again and everyone is quiet. I press my face against the window and watch the cars passing by. I don't have anything else to say, I just want to go home and crawl into my bed and sleep.

A bed I haven't slept in for a long time now.

Karsen touches my head, rubbing circles into my forehead to calm me down. "You can stay at my house again. My parents don't mind at all."

"I can't avoid her for the rest of my life," I admit to them all. "Sooner or later we have to talk."

"Maybe not when you're drunk," Kidd suggests.

"I think you should go back to Karsen's or the hotel for the night," Slade says throwing his advice in.

I rub my eyes and focus on the cars some more. They all think they have the answer.