Wrong Place, Wrong Time (Frerard)

.--- .- -. . .... --- .--. .--. . .-.

I ran out of there before anyone could say anything to me. I just walked to my usual spot and lit a cigarette. My heart was racing and my thoughts too. What if someone finds out? Can we still be together? The answer to that was easy - no. He was at least nine years younger than me and also my student. But damn did I want to feel his skin under my fingertips right then. I felt like crying but I was so tired from thinking about all of the things that went wrong and could get even worse, so I just stood there smoking one cig after another.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I jumped up. I was startled and when I took out my phone I was scared to look at the message. I started feeling paranoid and was afraid that someone found out about me and Frank. I breathed heavily and carefully unlocked the phone. I looked at the red notification next to the messages icon and gulped before opening it.

Frankie - can we talk?

I should have been relieved that it was only Frank but I forgot about the most terrible thing - I had to talk to him again to sort everything out. I didn't want to see him with the knowledge I had. I felt sick to my stomach when I remembered all of the times I lost myself underneath or on top of him and all of the times I undressed him not knowing he was underage or that he was my student. When I saw the messages we sent each other before that terrible morning my stomach did a flip and I felt like puking.

I was helpless and my emotions were like in a mixer, changing mainly from anger and disgust to sadness and fear. I was angry at the world that it led us together at the wrong time and that we met at the wrong place this morning, I was disgusted with myself when I thought about me fucking a seventeen-year-old boy, sad that it was happening just when I thought things were getting better and I feared that I would never be able to touch Frank the same way.

I needed to think about the whole situation properly before I could see Frank and be rational with him so I replied with 'not today' to his text and went the rest of the day just giving students free time or easy tasks so they would leave me alone. At the end of the day I rushed home and when I got there I felt sick once again. Just the day before I had sex with Frank right there on the damned floor and now I was supposed to pretend we never saw each other before.

Everything was reminding me of him and I needed something to take my mind off things. I sighed and changed into some sweatpants before I decided that a good meal might make me feel a little bit better. It turned out to be a terrible idea since we cooked with Frank and I saw all the things we used in my kitchen.

"Fuck!" I yelled and threw the bowl we ate from across the room. "Fuck it all. Fuck, fuck! Fucking shit!" I screamed and kicked and punched everything. "Damn it! Fuck you, Frank!"

Suddenly I stopped. I realized what I said and what a mess I made while seeing completely red. I started crying and collapsed to the ground. I couldn't take a breath, my stomach getting tighter and tighter with every second I couldn't breathe. I clutched my middle and pinched my skin unconsciously. I somehow forced myself to take a shaky breath and when I did my stomach tightened even more and I felt like I was screaming but nothing came out.

I remembered feeling this a few times, after about a third or so time realizing it was an anxiety attack. I read about a few methods on how to help yourself in such situations - counting breaths helped a lot. 

When I regained some sense of awareness I just sat there on the ground looking around trying to regain some sense. I sighed when I saw all the things strewn across the floor which just meant I'd have to clean it up later. I sighed deeply and took out my phone to call my brother.

"Hey, what's up?" Mikey picked up. When I heard his voice I started crying again, not saying anything back, just breathing heavily. "Uh, oh. What happened?" He asked, worried.

"Mikey, I fucked up." I sobbed into the device and cried even more.

- .... . . -. -.. --- ..-. .- .-.. .-.. - .... .. -. --. ...

Frank's POV

I was shook when I saw how Gerard was acting as a teacher, he was mean and sassy and I was questioning if he was the same person I knew. And then I saw his eyes which told me how much it pained him to act like that towards me.

Brendon tried to talk to me when I sat down but I just told him I was tired and he let me be. He knew I wasn't just tired but he also knew that I would tell him eventually why I was upset. I wanted to tell him desperately, just tell someone, but I knew I couldn't. If I told anyone, I was risking Gerard's career and the fact that he had slept with his student could land him in jail. It didn't matter that he didn't know that at the time, it happened and we couldn't deny it.

I took out my journal and pretended to be writing but in fact, I was just moving my pen in different patterns to distract myself. I tried to block what Gerard was saying and hoped that the lesson would end soon. I needed to talk to Gerard about the whole situation. I just didn't know what I would say. I didn't like when things went wrong and the only solutions meant me feeling terrible.

I still wanted to be with him. Hell, I really fucking liked him and I was just realizing how much he meant to me. But I couldn't be with him. I didn't know if he would still want me after the horrible revelation, that was one thing, but the law also wasn't on our side even if he did want me.

That was why I needed to talk to him. He was the smart one and I hoped he could come up with something rational, that would help us deal with this bullshit. And so I was thinking if I should go talk to him after class or wait until after school, or something else. My decision was made easier when he left the room just as the bell went off.

"Seriously, Frank, you look like shit." Brendon nudged my arm when we were walking to biology class.

"Get off my dick." I snapped and walked faster. I felt bad for acting like that but I just had more serious things to deal with than my stoned friend. His red eyes were as bright as Rudolph's nose.

I couldn't stop thinking about Gerard, how we just got torn apart and I really desperately needed to see him. I decided to text him so I took out my phone and asked him if I could talk to him. He took some time to respond but when he did it just said 'not today'. On one hand I was kind of glad that we didn't have to deal with the uncomfortable topic today and that for just a few more hours or days we could pretend that none of it was true, but on the other hand it gave me more time to think about it and gave me more chances of going crazy.

For the rest of the day, I was like a zombie, which just helped all of my teachers believe I was really deadly sick for the past month like my mom told them. Only Brendon got more sober over the day and I cursed him being so smart because he realized something he really shouldn't have and when he suddenly stopped while walking home I just had another mini heart attack.

"Fucking hell, Frank!" He smacked my arm. "Please tell me you didn't know." He looked at me and just like I knew that morning that my life was ruined, I knew now what Bren was talking about.

"What are you talking about exactly?" I asked for clarification.

"Geez, I'm so stupid. Fuck, you've told me all about him and I just couldn't connect it all together." He talked more to himself.

"Brendon?"

"Of course." He scoffed. "Your secret lover is Mr. Way." Brendon said and I was glad I had my bike to hold onto because my knees felt so weak I thought I would never walk again. 

_____________

*evil laughter*

how are you doing my lovely people?
any pets? relationships? 
id love to know more about you :D 

let me know how are you feeling about this story
who is your favorite character rn? 

until next time ♥