Chapter 18

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I hadn't seen Kyle since the day I dumped him. I knew I wouldn't, I had no reason to - Tyrell was away at uni and I obviously hadn't made plans to see him. I had totally changed up my life. Although I hadn't told anyone about the abortion, everyone had noticed changes in me. I had put on quite a bit of weight, and dyed my hair blonde - kinda like Beyonce's colour, but I was planning to dye it jet black soon.

I had just woken up on a Friday morning; it was around 6:30. I picked up my Blackberry, which was flashing and saw that someone had pinged me while I had been sleeping. It was my godsister, Karina, asking me if I was still coming to some drink-up that evening. I replied saying yes and jumped in the shower after brushing my teeth.

**

Me, Rianna, Karina and Meisha were jamming in some house in Brixton. None of us were impressed with the people there... we had basically followed Rianna to her man's bredrins house. Us three were sitting their screwfacing like mad, while Rianna was all over her man.

The doorbell rang and I heard bare deep voices. Coz I was busy pinging someone I was ready to punch Karina when she pinched my arm. When I looked at her, she gave me that 'look' look. Kyle had just walked in with some boys.

I had totally forgotten that Bradley and Kyle were friends... fucking hell man!

Meisha stood up and picked up my bag.

"Rianna... come we're going." I said as we got to the living room door

Rianna looked up at me like she didn't wanna move from her seat...

"Ermm... you lot go ahead, I'll catch you up."

"Listen yeah, I'm not waiting around in the cold, so either come now or come alone."

I turned and walked out of the room slamming the front door behind me.

"She aint coming." I said to Meisha and Karina, who were waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

We walked down to the tube station and jumped on a tube to Balham, and then a train back to their ends.

When we got to the platform at Balham station there was a bag of mandem standing there waiting. I really hoped they wouldn't say anything to us, or get on the same train as us coz I really weren't in the mood for man.

"The train now approaching Platform One is the 23:51 southern service to West Croydon. This train is the service from London Victoria."

**

It was now 2am. We were jamming on Rina's bed, eating Chinese and drinkin some Malibu and Coke. Meisha went over to the window and sat on the edge whilst lighting up a spliff. We passed it around slowly, none of us wanting to share.

This was the life boy, jamming with my girls, eating, drinking and getting high.

Around 4, Rianna decided it would be fun to show up.

"You snake Rianna... why did you stay by yourself?" said Karina

"Coz I wanted to talk Kyle about Ciara..." she looked at me but I just turned away

"Ciara... you know he still likes you."

"Rianna... you're lucky it's four in the fucking morning and I'm high coz otherwise I'd wileing out right about now. I don't give a fuck about Kyle and what he wants, why should I?"

I turned away from her and closed my eyes.

The next morning we all (minus Rianna and plus Jadey, some girl from my college who K & M knew as well) went shopping. I was trying to give myself a whole new look; I was sick of my life and wanted to change everything about it.

My dad had put my monthly allowance into my bank account so I just paid for everything by card. Boy, you should have seen the amount of bags we left that shopping centre with.

After my mum picked up from Karina's house we went out to dinner at Pizza Hut.

"You know you're gran's coming to London for Easter? Well you're dad claims she wants to stay with US for some odd reason..."

I started laughing when my mum said that. Why did my 'grandmother' (my dad's mum) wanna stay with me and my mum? Apparently she had never liked my mum because she's not black. That's rich coming from a woman who had all her kids with a mixed race man (my granddad) and a quarter-cast man (Monifa's granddad).

Before we left I ran to go to the toilet... as I came out of the women's toilets some boy/man was standing outside the men's. He smiled at me, so I smiled back and started walking

"You have a really nice smile you know" he said. I turned around coz I wasn't sure if he was talking to me.

"Are you talking to me??" I asked him. He nodded "thanks." I turned and walked out of the little corridor back to the main restaurant and out to the car park where my mum was waiting.

When we got home I tried on my new clothes, making sure they actually fitted and then put them in my basket to get washed. I opened my bedroom window and put some dirty clothes under the door - then I lit up the spliff Meisha had given me.

Good times... from now on, my life was going to be all about me, my family and nobody else.

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