Good Girlz in the Hood : The Chronicles of Ciara

Chapter 36

I felt someone grab my arm and pull my backwards

The car swerved around me and the driver opened his window and shouted out: "Watch where you're going, you fucking nigger!"

I pulled my arm out of Kyle's grip and walked back up the hill, towards Iceland. When I got to the top, I looked back to see him standing in the exact spot I had left him - just staring at me.

I slowly turned away and carried on walking. There was no point of me wasting my time, we were obviously over forever.

**

I had decided that I needed to focus on more important things. My brother's wedding was coming up, and I was supposed to be a bridesmaid. I also needed to begin researching universities, as I had no idea what I was gonna be doing when I finished college.

I woke up the next morning, squashed between Rianna and Paige... my head and chest felt heavy, and my eyes felt raw and sticky from all the tears I had cried the night before. I stared at the ceiling for a bit, then realised that Paige was already up and was pinging someone.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom to freshen up. After a long shower, I emerged feeling a bit better than I had when I went to sleep. The others had woken up and were watching some Daytime TV rubbish. We were supposed to be getting ready to go to Westfield's shopping centre. I reminded them of this fact and they all started running around to get ready.

Paige and I were left alone in the room together. She looked up from her phone and gave me that pitying look that people give you when they feel sorry for you.

"Are you OK?" she said

I nodded, and finished putting on my shoes then stood up.

"I would understand if you weren't though... I mean from what Karina and Rianna told me, he wasn't exactly a great boyfriend. I'm here for you if you need me" she said, standing up as well

I smiled then pulled her into a hug. I had missed the bitch :)

**

We arrived at Westfield's after a long but fun train journey. We walked around the shops for a while, buying a few bits here and there until Sofi pointed out a sign which read:

'HEAD TO THE TOP FLOOR OF WESTFIELD'S SHOPPING CENTRE ON THE 17TH OF JULY 2010, FOR YOUR CHANCE TO BECOME THE NEW FACE OF H&M, UNIQLO AND MANY OTHER BRANDS...'

"Oh my God, we should totally go and check that out... especially you," she said, pointing at me.

I had never really thought about becoming a model or anything like that, but it was worth a try, especially if it would keep my mind off of Kyle. We headed towards the lifts, but there was a long-ass queue so we took the escalators up instead. I took my compact mirror out of my bag and examined my reflection; I didn't look too bad, but I could have looked better.

After queuing up for about 45 minutes, it was finally my turn. I had filled in a form with all my details and then a woman called me forward. She told me to stand in front of the camera, and make any poses that felt natural. After snapping a few pictures, they told me I could go. They didn't even say when or whether they would be in touch.

We continued on with our shopping spree then we went to Nandos to get some food.

I just sat there wishing that the next two weeks would pass by so that I could go to my brother's wedding, and then go to Jamaica. I couldn't wait to lie on the beach and fade away from the world...

A few hours later, I went home and began packing for my holiday - I was officially excited and couldn't wait to leave rainy, dreary London, even if it was only for three weeks... I went downstairs to find my mum perched on the sofa, drinking tea and eating cake. I sat down next to her and put my head on her shoulder

"What do you want?" she said suspiciously

"What's that supposed to mean? I just thought I would come and sit with my mother, but fine - I'll go away."

I stood up to leave the living room until she spoke

"Sit down, then. We can watch a film or something, if you want?" I nodded and moved over to the DVD rack to choose something we could watch together. I picked up Waiting to Exhale and placed it into the DVD player, waiting for it to load.

We sat down in silence as the film began. As I watched Angela Bassett's character, Bernadine being told by her husband that he was leaving her for a white woman, I thought to myself 'Why are men so heartless?' They suck you dry and then leave you with nothing; there was no point of even having relationships

"Ciara... there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a while now..." my mum began

I sighed, knowing it was probably gonna be something that would piss me off

"What is it this time?"

She took a deep breath and then spoke

"I think it's time we move out of this house - I mean, there are so many bad memories associated with this house, I just want to move on and continue with my life"

I didn't say anything, so she continued

"I've been looking at some houses, and I've found one that I think we will both love. I'm going for a second viewing tomorrow, you can come with me if you want?" she said, waiting for me to reply

"why can't you ever include me in your plans, mum? You do everything in secret and tell me when it suits you... but it's okay, you don't have to tell me your plans; I'm only your daughter, after all" I said

I stood up and went up to my bedroom and layed on my bed, feeling sorry for myself.